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Some people argue that public transportation should be made completely free of charge. Are there more advantages over disadvantages of this decision? v.1

Some people argue that public transportation should be made completely free of charge. Are there more advantages over disadvantages of this decision? v. 1
Endorsements have had played an inevitable role in the lives of people. While some people believe that advertisements affect them negatively, others consider it a positive thing. The aim of this essay is to analyse whether advertising is fruitful for society or not and state my opinion. Advertisements are advantageous, according to some people, as consumers become aware of the variety of products available in the market. With the sufficient knowledge of the options for a particular product, it might be easier for prospective buyers to choose the product, which further results in saving of time. For instance, customers could directly ask shopkeepers for a specific model of mobile phone rather than looking for various options before making buying decisions. Therefore, it is believed that endorsements are beneficial for people. I, however, side with those people who see advertisements role as negative because people often buy products which they do not need in real. This is because big companies hire celebrities, such as movie stars and sportsmen, for the endorsements of their products, which might gravitate individuals to purchase those products. As a result, people would end up investing their hard-earned money in unnecessary possessions. If masses bought those items, they would be at higher risk of not saving enough money for hard times that might come in future. Thus, endorsements play a negative role in peoples' lives. To conclude, although adverts have some advantages, I believe that the ramifications of compelling people to buy unnecessary products are more severe. Hence, it is advised that people should not rely on endorsements only instead of weighing their actual needs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Endorsements
have had played an inevitable role in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that advertisements affect them
negatively
, others consider it a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thing. The aim of this essay is to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
whether advertising is fruitful for society or not and state my opinion.

Advertisements are advantageous, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, as consumers become aware of the variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
available in the market. With the sufficient knowledge of the options for a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, it might be easier for prospective buyers to choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, which
further
results in saving of time.
For instance
, customers could
directly
ask shopkeepers for a specific model of mobile phone
rather
than looking for various options
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making buying decisions.
Therefore
, it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endorsements
are beneficial for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

I,
however
, side with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
advertisements role as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which they do not need in real. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
hire celebrities, such as movie stars and sportsmen, for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endorsements
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, which might gravitate individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up investing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-earned money in unnecessary possessions. If masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
those items, they would be at higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of not saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
times that might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endorsements
play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
role in peoples'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To conclude
, although adverts have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages, I believe that the ramifications of compelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are more severe.
Hence
, it
is advised
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endorsements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
instead
of weighing their actual needs.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
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Munia Khan

IELTS essay Some people argue that public transportation should be made completely free of charge. Are there more advantages over disadvantages of this decision? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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