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The table below gives information on the proportion of carbohydrates protein and fat in three different diets v.1

The table below gives information on the proportion of carbohydrates protein and fat in three different diets v. 1
There are some today who would argue that the internet has sufficiently supplanted the role of traditional education so as to make it redundant. In my opinion, though the internet opens up possibilities for learning, schools are a crucial filter. What separates the internet from how other advances in technology have impacted education is greater accessibility to information. It is no exaggeration to claim that nearly everything can be found on the internet. School age children can access educational videos on YouTube, read online articles and use interactive learning platforms. As they get older, the possibilities expand and include scholarly articles, video-conferencing platforms like Zoom, and online newspapers from every country in the world that can be translated to your native language in modern internet browsers. There is immense potential for auto-didacts and parents who choose to homeschool. Nonetheless, schools are the real world editors of the internet. A lot of news is thrown up instantly and not carefully vetted. This means that students can get led into dark corners such as alt-left and right websites that specialise in sensationalised propaganda. Children and teens are especially susceptible to what they read online as they might be less skeptical. Teachers have more life experience and their training helps them approach information critically. They can then pass these skills on to their pupils by teaching them how to read closely, spot biases, and check information through a number of primary and secondary sources. Without teachers, students are more likely to be indoctrinated rather than educated. In conclusion, teachers are important to dispel the inherent risks of unreliable online information. Schools and administrators ought to take a long-view in order to assess the value of the internet for learning.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
who would argue that the internet has
sufficiently
supplanted the role of traditional education
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it redundant. In my opinion, though the internet opens up possibilities for learning,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are a crucial filter.

What separates the internet from how other advances in technology have impacted education is greater accessibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. It is no exaggeration to claim that
nearly
everything can
be found
on the internet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
age children can access educational videos on YouTube, read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
articles and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
interactive learning platforms. As they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older, the possibilities expand and include
scholarly
articles, video-conferencing platforms like Zoom, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
newspapers from every country in the world that can
be translated
to your native language in modern internet browsers. There is immense potential for
Possible spelling mistake found.
auto-didacts
and parents who choose to homeschool.

Nonetheless,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are the real world editors of the internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
news
is thrown
up
instantly
and not
carefully
vetted. This means that students can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
led into dark corners such as alt-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
and right websites that
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialise' is British English.
specialise
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'sensationalised' is British English.
sensationalised
propaganda. Children and teens are
especially
susceptible to what they read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
as they might be less skeptical. Teachers have more life experience and their training
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them approach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
critically
. They can then pass these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
on to their pupils by teaching them how to read
closely
, spot biases, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
through a number of primary and secondary sources. Without teachers, students are more likely to
be indoctrinated
rather
than educated.

In conclusion
, teachers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to dispel the inherent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of unreliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
and administrators ought to take a long-view in order to assess the value of the internet for learning.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay The table below gives information on the proportion of carbohydrates protein and fat in three different diets v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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