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The subjects that children are taught in schools are decided by central authorities. Some people say that teachers, not politicians, should be responsible for this task. v.3

The subjects that children are taught in schools are decided by central authorities. Some people say that teachers, not politicians, should be responsible for this task. v. 3
In most of the countries, the academic curriculums are decided by a board of people who mostly come from higher positions of education board and from other ministry or cabinet. They review the subjects taught in schools and do necessary modification and amendment. Some people opine that this responsibility should be given to the teachers who have better teaching experience and closely understand the students who study those subjects. I personally believe that politicians who have no previous teaching or educational institute related experience should not be included on this review board. Rather teachers with good experience and qualified persons from the education ministry, who came from the educational background, should decide this important agenda. First of all, if politicians, who have no teaching experience and have little knowledge about the students, are included on this board, that would negatively impact the overall syllabus. Their primary motive would be to add topics and subjects that somehow politically help them. This often includes adding political and controversial topics on subjects like history. Secondly, which subjects should be taught to students in a country has a major influence on the overall education system of a country. If the politicians are to decide this utmost important issue rather than the subject matter experts, which would be a disaster for the country. No one would accept that some teachers are picked up to decide a change in the election rule and amendment of the necessary constitution of a country. So why do the reverse? Finally, the political persons are experts in their own field. They should not be picked up to decide the subjects that should be taught in schools only because they held some important government positions. If necessary, experts from other countries who have similar experience could be hired to get their opinion on this issue. In conclusion, I totally agree that teachers and people who have experience in teaching and syllabus formation should be included in the committee to decide what subjects should be taught in schools. Relying on the politicians is the worst idea in my opinion.
In most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the academic curriculums
are decided
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
board
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from higher positions of education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
board
and from other ministry or cabinet. They review the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
taught in schools and do necessary modification and amendment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that this responsibility should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
closely
understand the students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
study those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have no previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
or educational institute related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
should not
be included
on this review
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
board
.
Rather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and qualified persons from the education ministry,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
came from the educational background, should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
agenda.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
knowledge about the students,
are included
on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
board
, that would
negatively
impact the
overall
syllabus. Their primary motive would be to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
topics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that somehow
politically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
includes adding political and controversial topics on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like history.

Secondly
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should
be taught
to students in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has a major influence on the
overall
education system of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
are to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
this utmost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue
rather
than the
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "subject".
subject matter
experts, which would be a disaster for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. No one would accept that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are picked
up to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the election
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
and amendment of the necessary constitution of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
why do the reverse?

Finally
, the political persons are experts in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
field. They should not
be picked
up to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that should
be taught
in schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they held
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
positions. If necessary, experts from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
could
be hired
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their opinion on this issue.

In conclusion
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
and syllabus formation should
be included
in the committee to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should
be taught
in schools. Relying on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
is the worst
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
in my opinion.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay The subjects that children are taught in schools are decided by central authorities. Some people say that teachers, not politicians, should be responsible for this task. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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