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The speakers discuss two possible solutions to the man's problem. Briefly summarize the problem. Then state which solution you recommend and explain why. v.1

The speakers discuss two possible solutions to the man's problem. Briefly summarize the problem. Then state which solution you recommend and explain why. v. 1
In several nations, wedding are organised on a large scale, involving huge amounts of money as compared to the past. This essay agrees that the aforementioned trend has negative impacts. This essay will first, discuss that spending huge volume of cash in organising a wide- reaching wedding ceremonies lead to accumulations of unwanted materials in the country and further discuss, that the amount spend on wedding does not lead to any future returns or growth. It is clear that in decorating wedding parties exorbitant amounts of cost is spent which after are eventually disposed on the road. In other words, many artificial flowers along with other plastic decoration materials are used in wedding parties, which after the party disposed off in the society, leading to increase in the amount of non-biodegradable waste which causes pollution. To elucidate, a recent study conducted by The Times showed that wedding are the main contributors to 80 percent of waste in countries. Apart from this, the amount spends in organising wedding by the families is one time investment with not guarantee returns and growth. This is to say, people fall into debt by investing money in millions for wedding parties which only happens once in every person's life. Instead money can be deposited in fixed deposits or buying a property whose value will appreciate in the future. To exemplify, a recent study conducted by The New York Time found that more than 70 percent of people have taken loans for organising weddings and thus have become liable for the payment of principle and interest. To conclude, weddings are not only organised on a large scale, but also involve huge volumes of cash rather that past. However, this is a negative development as it leads to the accumulation of waste and does not give any future returns.
In several nations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
on a large scale, involving huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amounts
of money as compared to the past. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that the aforementioned trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts. This essay will
first
, discuss that spending huge volume of cash in
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
a wide- reaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
ceremonies lead to accumulations of unwanted materials in the country and
further
discuss, that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
does not lead to any future returns or growth.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that in decorating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
exorbitant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amounts
of cost
is spent
which after are
eventually
disposed on the road.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
artificial flowers along with other plastic decoration materials are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
, which after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
disposed off in the society, leading to increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of non-biodegradable waste which causes pollution. To elucidate, a recent study conducted by The Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
are the main contributors to 80 percent of waste in countries.

Apart from this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
spends in
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
by the families is one time investment with not guarantee returns and growth. This is to say,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
fall into debt by investing money in millions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
happens once in every person's life.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Instead
money can
be deposited
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
deposits or buying a property whose value will appreciate in the future. To exemplify, a recent study conducted by The New York Time found that more than 70 percent of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have taken loans for
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
and
thus
have become liable for the payment of principle and interest.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
on a large scale,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
involve huge volumes of cash
rather
that past.
However
, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development as it leads to the accumulation of waste and does not give any future returns.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay The speakers discuss two possible solutions to the man's problem. Briefly summarize the problem. Then state which solution you recommend and explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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