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tpo12. task3. College Radio Station to Undergo Major Changes? The university is considering making major changes to the college radio station. Changes would include an expansion of the station's broadcasting range, which would allow the radio's pro v.1

tpo12. task3. College Radio Station to Undergo Major Changes? The university is considering making major changes to the college radio station. Changes would include an expansion of the station's broadcasting range, which would allow the radio's pro v. 1
There has been a debate in recent times that the government should invest only on public service and facilities but also the arts. Although I agree that it is important to spend money on public services and facilities, in art should not be completely neglected. The argument in favour of the authority should concern is investing in the arts. In order words, the arts an important role to play in entertainment such as music, literature. This will only help a part of standard living. However this might be a shortsighted view. It is indisputable that there are many benefits of spending money on public services rather than investing in the arts. Therefore, the government should spend a significant amount of the government Budget on public services. There are two more vital reasons why investing money on public service is essential. Firstly, the quality of life will be significantly improved through public services such as schools, hospital, libraries. For example, if the government spends enough money on hospitals, the health of our society can be advanced. Secondly, the economy will increasingly develop thanks to the networks to create links to exchange products between regions such as roads, internet. For example, An integrated transport network (maritime, land and inland waterway transport and civil aviation) will bring the smooth and speedy movement of goods and people in a city. In conclusion, the government should consider spending money on public services and facilities than on the arts.
There has been a debate in recent times that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should invest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
and facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and facilities, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
should not be completely neglected.

The argument in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the authority should concern is investing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. In order words, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to play in entertainment such as music, literature. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a part of standard living.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
this might be a shortsighted view. It is indisputable that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
rather
than investing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend a significant amount of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
Budget on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
services.

There are two more vital reasons why investing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is essential.
Firstly
, the quality of life will be
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
such as schools, hospital, libraries.
For example
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on hospitals, the health of our society can
be advanced
.
Secondly
, the economy will
increasingly
develop thanks to the networks to create links to exchange products between regions such as roads, internet.
For example
, An integrated transport network (maritime, land and inland waterway transport and civil aviation) will bring the smooth and speedy movement of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in a city.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should consider spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and facilities than on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay tpo12. task3. College Radio Station to Undergo Major Changes? The university is considering making major changes to the college radio station. Changes would include an expansion of the station's broadcasting range, which would allow the radio's pro v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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