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A teacher's ability to relate well with students is more important than excellent knowledge of the subject being taught v.1

A teacher's ability to relate well with students is more important than excellent knowledge of the subject being taught v. 1
New born need more attention than a young ones. Some believe that government should take all the financial care of the children by paying the monthly wages to one of the parents. So, they can take responsibility of the infants. This essay will discuss both the positive and negative impact of this scheme. Firstly, Some supporters will believe that parents responsibility is to just take care of the Childs' food and health, this is true at some point. So even I believe if the government pay one of the parent monthly salary without asking him/her to work this will benefit a lot to a very young child. As, there will be less a health issue too little one. They will be better care and will be more attached to their parents. To illustrate, most of the countries have started the scheme of maternity leave for 6 months for mother's. So, they can feed and give proper care to the infants. I As a mother have taken the advantage of this policy which helped my child to be closer to me and to grow healthy. But, With advantages, there is always disadvantages. Some parents are misusing this policy by applying extended holidays by providing fake medical certificates. While, many people in countries like Europe, Australia, where parenting policy is much better are making more babies, perhaps affecting the population and government is facing the consequences as all the benefits to parents' needs to pay by Country taxes. For example, Some millennials are giving birth to newborns just after their first newborn is 1 years old. thus affecting the baby's health and taking benefits of free wages without even working. Also, this effecting the country GDP. To conclude, "Some policy are good until they are not misused" by people. Government should provide wages, but need to make some other arrangement to avoid being misused like controlling the number of children per parents and making sure that there is the proper gap between the first child and the new born.
New born need more attention than a young
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "one"?
ones
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take all the financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the children by paying the monthly wages to one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they can take responsibility of the infants. This essay will discuss both the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of this scheme.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
supporters will believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
responsibility is to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Childs
' food and health, this is true at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
even I believe if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
pay one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
monthly salary without asking him/her to work this will benefit a lot to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young child. As, there will be less a health issue too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
one. They will be better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and will be more attached to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. To illustrate, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
the scheme of maternity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
for 6 months for mother's.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they can feed and give proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
to the infants. I As a mother have taken the advantage of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
my child to be closer to me and to grow healthy.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, With advantages, there is always disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are misusing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
by applying extended holidays by providing fake medical certificates. While,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Europe, Australia, where parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
is much better are making more babies, perhaps affecting the population and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is facing the consequences as all the benefits to parents' needs to pay by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
taxes.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
millennials are giving birth to newborns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
after their
first
newborn is 1 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
thus
affecting the baby's health and taking benefits of free wages without even working.
Also
, this effecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
GDP.

To conclude
,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Did you mean "policies"?
policy
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
until they are not misused
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should provide wages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other arrangement to avoid
being misused
like controlling the number of children per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and making sure that there is the proper gap between the
first
child and the new born.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A teacher's ability to relate well with students is more important than excellent knowledge of the subject being taught v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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