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In recent years, the structure of a family and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes that occur? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? v.5

In recent years, the structure of a family and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes that occur? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? v. 5
It is true that the modern life has brought about a number of significant changes in the structure of a family and the roles of its members. there are several changes regarding family' s organisation and members' role that have taken place, and I believe this tendency can be seen as a progress. These days, families have experieced two main changes compared to the past. Fristly, a nuclear family now can have more than one breadwinner, which was once considered men' s work. In fact, the rising cost of living has meant that only few jobs can secure the stability of single-earner families, which forces both parents to be the finacial supporters. Secondly, parental roles in families have been exchanged as equal rigts movements have made great progress. Women now can have equal opportunities to access education and pursue their careers. Likewise, men share a common interest in taking responsibility for the household chores and the childcare, which are typically considered femine. They do the washing up, the cooking even better than their wife. I consider this tendency as a positive development. If both parents can become beadwinners, the fiancial condition of a family will be stable. Families with double income can invest more in eduacation as well as well-being of thei children. This will improve the life chances and choices of those children if there is enoungh money to finance later university studies. From another angle, it is an upward step that parents have freedom to make a wise and proper decisiuon about which parental roles each partner takes, according to what they like and have strength at In conclusion, althought there are several changes in the family' s hierarchy and members' responsibilities, I still believe that this trend might have good impacts on society.
It is true that the modern life has brought about a number of significant
changes
in the structure of a
family
and the
roles
of its members.
there
are several
changes
regarding
family&
#039; s
organisation
and
members&
#039;
role
that have taken place, and I believe this tendency can be
seen
as
a progress
.

These days,
families
have
experieced
two main
changes
compared to the past.
Fristly
, a nuclear
family
now
can have more than one breadwinner, which was once considered
men&
#039; s work. In fact, the rising cost of living has meant that
only
few jobs can secure the stability of single-earner
families
, which forces both parents to be the
finacial
supporters.
Secondly
, parental
roles
in
families
have
been exchanged
as equal
rigts
movements have made great progress. Women
now
can have equal opportunities to access education and pursue their careers.
Likewise
,
men
share a common interest in taking responsibility for the household chores and the childcare, which are
typically
considered
femine
. They do the washing up, the cooking even better than their wife.

I consider this tendency as a
positive
development. If both parents can become
beadwinners
, the
fiancial
condition of a
family
will be stable.
Families
with double income can invest more in
eduacation
as well
as well
-being of
thei
children. This will
improve
the life chances and choices of those children if there is
enoungh
money to finance later university studies. From another angle, it is an upward step that parents have freedom to
make
a wise and proper
decisiuon
about which parental
roles
each partner takes, according to what they like and have strength
at


In conclusion
,
althought
there are several
changes
in the
family&
#039; s hierarchy and
members&
#039; responsibilities, I
still
believe that this trend might have
good
impacts on society.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, the structure of a family and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes that occur? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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