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The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world costs numerous governments expenditure. This money should be used in new housing and road development. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world costs numerous governments expenditure. This money should be used in new housing and road development. v. 1
In these days, governments spend money on the restoration of old monuments in many cities. Some people believe that the same amount of money must spend for other infrastructure projects such as roads and new housing. I disagree with this notion and I will explain why the money spent for prevent the old buildings in the upcoming paragraph. To begin with, there are myriad reasons why i claim that government should spent money on old monuments. The first and the predominant reason is that old buildings related with culture and history. With the help of these monuments our young generation can acquire knowledge about their heritage as well as history with this they will connect with their history. For example, the red fort in New Delhi is important monument that reminds to citizens of Delhi their past. Hence, old buildings are significant to preserve our culture and history. Furthermore, the old buildings are important source of revenue for the local individuals. These monuments invite foreign tourists who spent a amount of money to see old monuments and buy local products. For instance, thousands of tourists visit the Taj Mahal every year and they do not eat delicious food on local restaurants but also purchase different kind of products. Moreover, the government earn tax revenue from old buildings so that they can enhance source revenue. Thus, old monuments playa a vital role to increase the income of locals and authorities. In conclusion, governments should spent money of the restoration of old buildings because it has extremely important from the culture and increase the revenue of local individuals and government.
In these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the restoration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the same amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spend for other infrastructure projects such as roads and new housing. I disagree with this notion and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
in the upcoming paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are myriad reasons why
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
. The
first
and the predominant reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
related with culture and history. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
our young generation can acquire knowledge about their heritage
as well
as history with this they will connect with their history.
For example
, the red fort in New Delhi is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monument
that reminds to citizens of Delhi their past.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are significant to preserve our culture and history.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
individuals. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
invite foreign tourists who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
products.
For instance
, thousands of tourists visit the Taj Mahal every
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
year and
they do not eat delicious food on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
restaurants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of products.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
earn tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can enhance source
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
Possible spelling mistake found.
playa
a vital role to increase the income of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
and authorities.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
of the restoration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
from the culture and increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
individuals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world costs numerous governments expenditure. This money should be used in new housing and road development. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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