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People doing dangerous sports like bungee jumping and scuba diving should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their live people. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

People doing dangerous sports like bungee jumping and scuba diving should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their live people. v. 1
It is no doubt that sport is supported to enhance our health, however, several certain sports like scuba diving and bungee jumping are indeed risky to participate as well as relevant works to save people. I completely agree that citizens should have the responsibility about their life and aid officer should guarantee the safety of participants. Those sports have several dangers, predominately accident rates. Serious injuries such as bone fractures and head trauma are not uncommon in the extreme sports, even fatal accidents. It is too much money to participate in those activities merely for excitements. Most insurance schemes like society insurance do not cover those vigorous sports because of the high medical expenditures on the injuries. As a result, people should understand that those extreme activities are actually perilous and pay a lot. Consequently, individuals do take care of their own lives rather than playing a venture game. On the other hand, the living survival plays a key role in each person, which rescue officers should have many professional skills to assist emergency cases. Actually, the more experience you have, the fewer mistakes you will rescue. It is compelling that people participating in the dangerous sports are responsible for warranty equipment preparation, especially, aid workers. In conclusion, citizens should understand the hazardous disadvantage in playing the venture sports such as the activities of swimming or jumping. More importantly, both participants and rescue officers exactly know the optimal method to protect themselves and others. In my opinion, people should not do those kinds of sports unless there has any practical experience.
It is no doubt that
sport
is supported
to enhance our health,
however
, several certain
sports
like scuba diving and bungee jumping are
indeed
risky to participate
as well
as relevant works to save
people
. I completely
agree
that citizens should have the responsibility about their life and aid officer should guarantee the safety of participants.

Those
sports
have several
dangers
,
predominately
accident rates. Serious injuries such as bone fractures and head trauma are not uncommon in the extreme
sports
, even fatal accidents. It is too much money to participate in those activities
merely
for excitements. Most insurance schemes like society insurance do not cover those vigorous
sports
because
of the high medical expenditures on the injuries.
As a result
,
people
should understand that those extreme activities are actually perilous and pay a lot.
Consequently
, individuals do take care of their
own
lives
rather
than playing a venture game.

On the other hand
, the living survival plays a key role in each person, which rescue officers should have
many
professional
skills
to assist emergency cases. Actually, the more experience you have, the fewer mistakes you will rescue. It is compelling that
people
participating in the
dangerous
sports
are responsible for warranty equipment preparation,
especially
, aid workers.

In conclusion
, citizens should understand the hazardous disadvantage in playing the venture
sports
such as the activities of swimming or jumping. More
importantly
, both participants and rescue officers exactly know the optimal method to protect themselves
and others
. In my opinion,
people
should not do those kinds of
sports
unless there has any practical experience.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS essay People doing dangerous sports like bungee jumping and scuba diving should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their live people. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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