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The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amounts of money. This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amounts of money. This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development. v. 4
Some people think that it is necessary to spend money on building new buildings instead of protecting old buildings. However, I do not think that the idea that people will be better if they demolish old buildings or build new ones. Moreover, I do not think that a lot of money is spent on repairing old buildings. This essay will explain 2 specific reasons to support my idea. Firstly, there are many old valuable buildings for some people. These precious buildings have many good feelings for people. For example, there is an annual build where my mother’s village. Furthermore, the most of the people who grew up here have memorable memories with the building. The house was a playground for my mother and her friends, and my mother often shared her memories with her in this place. If this building is destroyed for financial reasons, it will be not only the destruction of an old building, but also the destruction of valuable memories for people. Secondly, ancient structures play an important role in education for humans. History gives people things. So, I think old buildings need to be repaired and restored. Moreover, I argue that buildings are fundamentally of a society. If people do not preserve the value of these buildings, people will be faced with the condition that they leave nothing to our next generation. To sum up, old buildings and ancient structures are meaningful for people's lives and educational purposes. For that reason, people should protect our historical buildings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that it is necessary to spend money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
instead
of protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
However
, I do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be better if they demolish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
or build new ones.
Moreover
, I do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money
is spent
on repairing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
2 specific reasons to support my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. These precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
feelings for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, there is an annual build where my mother’s village.
Furthermore
, the most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who grew up here have memorable memories with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
was a playground for my mother and her friends, and my mother
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
shared her memories with her in this place. If this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
for financial reasons, it will be not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the destruction of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the destruction of valuable memories for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Secondly
, ancient structures play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in education for humans. History gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
need to
be repaired
and restored.
Moreover
, I argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are
fundamentally
of a society. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not preserve the value of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be faced
with the condition that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
nothing to our
next
generation.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and ancient structures are meaningful for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and educational purposes. For that reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should protect our historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amounts of money. This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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