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Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world. How important is it for children to learn to understand and appreciate nature? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. v.5

Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world. How important is it for children to learn to understand and appreciate nature? v. 5
In today’s modern era, with technological advancements and digital society, a feeling has been lost. A touch of the Mother Nature where one can spend hours relaxing, soothing and meditating while forgetting the day-to-day life problems. However, kids today are not appreciating the natural world and spend time in contact with digital world playing video games, surfing the internet, which has its own pros and cons. This essay elaborates priority of the real world. Nowadays, kids are suffering from various illnesses which are prone to adults. They like to watch videos on Netflix, play games on the iPad, and spend time chatting through social media along with surfing the internet for hours. These habits are sedentary in nature and are causing body ache, loosing the eyesight at an early age and similar other problems, which in contrary are avoided if time is spent in constant contact with the natural surroundings. Unlike above, when children grow in the vicinity of trees, soil & water, they maintain a good healthy lifestyle. Furthermore, these wards are more exposed to the oxygen and natural minerals and in turn have a good respiratory system and higher resistance to few diseases. Small activities, namely, digging a hold in mud, playing and running around while exposing the body to sunlight, gardening is must and should be performed by every inhabitant. Such kids start respecting the environment, understand the emphasis of the natural world around them, and become alarming in preserving it. In conclusion, I believe that exposing youngsters to the outside atmosphere is of equal importance along with teaching them to be the masters of a digital nature. It connects one with the globe while earth connects one with oneself, which makes that particular human being aware of his own importance. Hence, spending “me” time in touch with natural world should be a part of the daily routine.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern era, with technological advancements and digital society, a feeling has
been lost
. A touch of the Mother Nature where one can spend hours relaxing, soothing and meditating while forgetting the day-to-day life problems.
However
, kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are not appreciating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in contact with digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
playing video games, surfing the internet, which has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons. This essay elaborates priority of the real world.

Nowadays, kids are suffering from various illnesses which are prone to adults. They like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
videos on Netflix, play games on the iPad, and spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
chatting through social media along with surfing the internet for hours. These habits are sedentary in nature and are causing body ache,
Did you mean "losing the"?
loosing the
eyesight at an early age and similar other problems, which in contrary
are avoided
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is spent
in constant contact with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
surroundings.

Unlike above, when children grow in the vicinity of trees, soil & water, they maintain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
healthy lifestyle.
Furthermore
, these wards are more exposed to the oxygen and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
minerals and in turn have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
respiratory system and higher resistance
Did you mean "too"?
to
few diseases.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Small
activities,
namely
, digging a hold in mud, playing and running around while exposing the body to sunlight, gardening is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
and should
be performed
by every inhabitant. Such kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
respecting the environment, understand the emphasis of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
around them, and become alarming in preserving it.

In conclusion
, I believe that exposing youngsters to the outside atmosphere is of equal importance along with teaching them to be the masters of a digital nature. It connects one with the globe while earth connects one with oneself, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
that particular human being aware of his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
importance.
Hence
, spending “me”
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in touch with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
should be a part of the daily routine.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world. How important is it for children to learn to understand and appreciate nature? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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