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Students today can easily access information online, so libraries are no longer necessary. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Students today can easily access information online, so libraries are no longer necessary. v. 3
These days, thanks to the advances of technology, pupils now are provided with such a wide range of available online info sources. Therefore, libraries are claimed to play an unnecessary role. Personally, I strongly disagree with this statement. First of all, the online word is not always reliable. Knowledge which is posted on a lot of websites does not have to undergo any certifications. Understandably, these websites may sometimes supply learners with data that are devoid of accuracy. Whereas, libraries are equipped with a huge selection of prestigious books. Secondly, when it comes to books requiring copyrights, students have to wait for so long a period of time to get updated online. It is common knowledge that a plenty of e-books are not liable to be published without allowance of writers. Perceptibly, libraries with books which have just come out are the best choice of instruction source for students. Last but not least, libraries defend learners from outside distraction. Most of libraries ask comers to keep silent so that others will not be annoyed. Subsequently, students can pay all of their attention to learning. Besides, studying online means students are using the internet, which brings about myriads of disturbances carrying them away such as notification from Facebook or Instagram. By contrast, libraries are the place where students can get rid of those. In conclusion, I think that maybe via the internet, students can have access to info effortlessly but the role of libraries is irreplaceable due to the wide reliable source of books, faster updating and better self-attention.
These days, thanks to the advances of technology, pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are provided
with such a wide range of available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
info sources.
Therefore
, libraries
are claimed
to play an unnecessary role.
Personally
, I
strongly
disagree with this statement.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
word is not always reliable. Knowledge which
is posted
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
websites does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
undergo any certifications.
Understandably
, these websites may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
supply learners with data that are devoid of accuracy.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, libraries
are equipped
with a huge selection of prestigious books.

Secondly
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to books requiring copyrights,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long a period of time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
updated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. It is common knowledge that a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of e-books are not liable to
be published
without allowance of writers.
Perceptibly
, libraries with books which have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out are the best choice of instruction source for students.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, libraries defend learners from outside distraction.
After 'Most of', you should use 'the' ("Most of the libraries") or simply say "Most libraries".
Most of libraries
ask comers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
silent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that others will not
be annoyed
.
Subsequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can pay all of their attention to learning.
Besides
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are using the internet, which brings about myriads of disturbances carrying them away such as notification from Facebook or Instagram. By contrast, libraries are the place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of those.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that maybe via the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can have access to info
effortlessly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the role of libraries is irreplaceable due to the wide reliable source of books, faster updating and better self-attention.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Students today can easily access information online, so libraries are no longer necessary. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
258 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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