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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v.12

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 12
It is true that the majority of people prefer to do their shopping from large shopping centres, and this matter can cause closing of many small local shops. Personally, I believe that this issue is a positive progress with several demerits which are worth considering. Actually, shopping from supermarkets which are huge is really convenient and also time saving for people due to the fact that they confront with a wide variety of commodities in all groups. In fact, customers can elect and purchase their needs within a few minutes. What is more, shopping centres or malls usually have good prices in comparison with small local markets and also many times, they sell their products with unbelievable discounts and this issue has an affirmative impact on customers. In other words, they stimulate people for next purchase through this method. Moreover, the supervision of foods and drug administration is a good opportunity for such places to acquire trust. On the other hand, although buying from shopping centre has many merits, it has several demerits for people who have small shops, they lose their customers due to this improvement and alteration of people’s mindset. Besides, they cannot continue their businesses because of the tax and the maintenance cost of having a shop, these are the things, the majority of local shops would be definitely closed by. In addition, many people lose their careers and they will be frustrated about everything. I think that the authorities should prepare some facilities for them in order to prevent of closings and also reduce the rate of taxation for them. Moreover, people who live in each neighbourhood should buy some products from small local shops so as to support them and be as a motivation for them. In conclusion, I have the opinion that people and authorities have a significant role in preserving small local shops in order to establish balance among businesses and also promote this development.
It is true that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
from large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, and this matter can cause closing of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
Personally
, I believe that this issue is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
progress with several demerits which are worth considering.

Actually,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
from supermarkets which are huge is
really
convenient and
also
time saving for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to the fact that they confront with a wide variety of commodities in all groups. In fact, customers can elect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
their needs within a few minutes.
What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
or malls
usually
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
prices
in comparison
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times, they sell their products with unbelievable discounts and this issue has an affirmative impact on customers.
In other words
, they stimulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for
next
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
through this method.
Moreover
, the supervision of foods and drug administration is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity for such places to acquire trust.

On the other hand
, although buying from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
merits, it has several demerits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
, they lose their customers due to this improvement and alteration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
mindset.
Besides
, they cannot continue their businesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the tax and the maintenance cost of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
, these are the things, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
would be definitely closed by.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
careers and
they will
be frustrated
about everything. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the authorities should prepare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
facilities for them in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
of closings and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the rate of taxation for them.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in each
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
products from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
support them and be as a motivation for them.

In conclusion
, I have the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and authorities have a significant role in preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in order to establish balance among businesses and
also
promote this development.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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