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The recent popularity of online shopping will result in the end of high street shops. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.7

The recent popularity of online shopping will result in the end of high street shops. v. 7
Thanks to globalization and the advent of the internet, online shopping has become increasingly popular in most parts of the world. However, I disagree that this recent popularity of online shops will lead to the closure of high roadway shops for three reasons. The attraction for online shopping pales in comparison with the social and physical benefits that come with going to traditional shops. Shopping in high lane stores is a good way of socializing with friends and family. They can get together and go to shops, which might prove useful as this activity could reduce stress and improve the bonds. Moreover, this get-together might be a free physical activity for people who are overwhelmed with their jobs since shoppers need to move from one store to another to find the most suitable clothes or other products. Another reason why I think that traditional shops remain has to do with the economy. High thoroughfare shops, which pay contribution to the government, employ a number of people, who also pay income duty to the state. In contrast, when shopping online, one does not have to pay duty or this expense is usually smaller. For this reason, the popularity of online shops does not impact the existence of high lane shops. Finally, the recent prevalence of global online shops has brought about environmental concerns. When shipping larger quantities of goods using air, sea and road transportation, this way of delivering the products to their consumers results in severe damage to the environment. That said, some people could argue that shoppers can buy a wide variety of quality products at reasonable prices using online shopping. I would, however, argue that this little financial benefit is costing a lot at the expense of harm to the atmosphere. In conclusion, not only is shopping in high lane stores good for socializing, but this way of shopping is also helping to stimulate the economy. Although online shopping is convenient and less time-consuming, they are having a detrimental effect on the environment. Therefore, I disagree that high boulevard shops will disappear in the future.
Thanks to globalization and the advent of the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has become
increasingly
popular in most parts of the world.
However
, I disagree that this recent popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
will lead to the closure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
roadway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
for three reasons.

The attraction for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
pales
in comparison
with the social and physical benefits that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with going to traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
lane stores is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way of socializing with friends and family. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together and go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
, which might prove useful as this activity could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the bonds.
Moreover
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
-together might be a free physical activity for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are overwhelmed
with their jobs since shoppers need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from one store to another to find the most suitable clothes or other products.

Another reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
remain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do with the economy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
High
thoroughfare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
, which pay contribution to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, employ a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who
also
pay income duty to the state.
In contrast
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, one does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay duty or this expense is
usually
smaller.
For this reason
, the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
does not impact the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
lane shops.

Finally
, the recent prevalence of global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
has brought about environmental concerns. When shipping larger quantities of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
using air, sea and road transportation, this way of delivering the products to their consumers results in severe damage to the environment. That said,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could argue that shoppers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a wide variety of quality products at reasonable prices using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. I would,
however
, argue that this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
financial benefit is costing a lot at the expense of harm to the atmosphere.

In conclusion
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
lane stores
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for socializing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
also
helping to stimulate the economy. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is convenient and less time-consuming, they are having a detrimental effect on the environment.
Therefore
, I disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
boulevard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
will disappear in the future.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The recent popularity of online shopping will result in the end of high street shops. v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
347 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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