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In many countries children and teenagers commit more crime. Why is this the case? How to punish them? v.1

In many countries children and teenagers commit more crime. Why is this the case? How to punish them? v. 1
Recently, the crime rate among young generation has been on the rise in some countries. This essay will go through some factors behind this surge and offer possible ways that can be adopted to address it. It is true that most of juvenile delinquencies are currently committed by children coming from dysfunctional families. In other words, a lack of supervision from parents or caregivers, give children a free rein to develop extreme behaviour. Youngsters having a conflict with their peers are a common example when children might experience the feelings of hostility and aggression toward others. Since there is nobody who can fix this dispute, it would subsequently force them to commit crimes in later lives. Media also plays important role in shaping children thinking. Computer games which contain extreme actions of violence and cruelty would encourage children to do illegal acts, under the impression that it is morally acceptable. However, it is my view that children should not get punished for their misbehaviour and practical solution is therefore essential. One way to do it is by implementing extra lessons into school curriculum. Specifically, the teacher could conduct private lectures with students, where they could talk about moral values and keep record of their daily school lives. As a result, these youngsters would be more knowledgeable about standards of proper behaviour and realise their wrongful actions. This will also give them an opportunity to get support from school staff and do not feel alone. In conclusion, there are certain reasons why crime among children is now on its highest level, then ever, but giving strict punishment is not the best way to solve it.
Recently, the crime rate among young generation has been on the rise in
some
countries. This essay will go through
some
factors behind this surge and offer possible ways that can
be adopted
to address it.

It is true that most of juvenile delinquencies are
currently
committed by
children
coming from dysfunctional families.
In other words
, a lack of supervision from parents or caregivers, give
children
a free rein to develop extreme
behaviour
. Youngsters having a conflict with their peers are a common example when
children
might experience the feelings of hostility and aggression toward others. Since there is nobody who can
fix
this dispute, it would
subsequently
force them to commit crimes in later
lives
. Media
also
plays
important
role in shaping
children
thinking. Computer games which contain extreme actions of violence and cruelty would encourage
children
to do illegal acts, under the impression that it is
morally
acceptable.

However
, it is my view that
children
should not
get
punished for their
misbehaviour
and practical solution is
therefore
essential. One way to do it is by implementing extra lessons into school curriculum.
Specifically
, the teacher could conduct private lectures with students, where they could talk about moral values and
keep
record of their daily school
lives
.
As a result
, these youngsters would be more knowledgeable about standards of proper
behaviour
and
realise
their wrongful actions. This will
also
give them an opportunity to
get
support from school staff and do not feel alone.

In conclusion
, there are certain reasons why crime among
children
is
now
on its highest level, then ever,
but
giving strict punishment is not the best way to solve it.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries children and teenagers commit more crime. Why is this the case? How to punish them? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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