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Most of the people in society enjoy watching crime movies and criminal TV programs. Why do you think people have more interest to watch them? What is the impact on society due to this? v.1

Most of the people in society enjoy watching crime movies and criminal TV programs. Why do you think people have more interest to watch them? What is the impact on society due to this? v. 1
Crime scenes are being watched on television by the public quite often nowadays. I believe that people watch such contents because these provide possible ways to stay safe. Hence, it has a positive impact on the community as it generates awareness among society members regarding unlawful acts and reduces crime rates. To begin with, after watching crime-related movies, if a person finds himself in any of such circumstances, he can easily understand the situation and can take useful actions before any criminal activities. For example, a girl in New Delhi saved herself from being murdered after being kidnapped by the criminals because she watched a related video earlier, and she learnt abilities to tackle such conditions. Hence, such videos help people to live safely. Moreover, as such movies are helpful in generating awareness among the public about criminal acts, crimes can also be strained because people will be aware about such acts and prevent themselves from being victims. To illustrate, a recent report published in a prestigious newspaper revealed that the people who watched crime-related contents earlier are fifty percent less victimized as compared to the others who did not watch such movies. Hence, crime scenes not only make the public aware about illegal acts, but also help in reducing the crime rate. To summarize, I think that crime-related films make people live safe, and it generates awareness among the community members. So, it also helps to reduce the existing crime ratio.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
scenes are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
on television by the public quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
nowadays. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
such contents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these provide possible ways to stay safe.
Hence
, it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the community as it generates awareness among society members regarding unlawful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acts
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, after watching crime-related movies, if a person finds himself in any of such circumstances, he can
easily
understand the situation and can take useful actions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
any criminal activities.
For example
, a girl in New Delhi saved herself from
being murdered
after
being kidnapped
by the criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
a related video earlier, and she
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
abilities to tackle such conditions.
Hence
, such videos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
safely
.

Moreover
, as such movies are helpful in generating awareness among the public about criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acts
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
can
also
be strained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be aware about such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acts
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
themselves from being victims. To illustrate, a recent report published in a prestigious newspaper revealed that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
crime-related contents earlier are fifty percent less victimized as compared to the others who did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
such movies.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
scenes not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the public aware about illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acts
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate.

To summarize
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that crime-related films
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
safe, and it generates awareness among the community members.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
ratio.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Most of the people in society enjoy watching crime movies and criminal TV programs. Why do you think people have more interest to watch them? What is the impact on society due to this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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