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Art classes, like painting and drawing, are not as important as other subjects, so some people think that it should not be a compulsory subject at highschool. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Art classes, like painting and drawing, are not as important as other subjects, so some people think that it should not be a compulsory subject at highschool. v. 2
That the subjects should be essential in curriculum at school has controversial. Several people believe that some art courses such as painting and ought not to forced to learn at high school. I partly agree with this opinion. To begin with, these classes do not provide the important knowledge for pupils, so it is time-consuming for students who do not fond of studying them. In detail, attending an art class is simply in form of entertainment, therefore a lot of students want to spend this time on receiving necessary lessons instead of drawing a picture or singing a song. Moreover, that art classes are compulsory for students sometimes affect on the result. For instance, some students have good mark on science subjects like math, biology but they do not have talent to perform arts, the final result of these students are not appreciated. Nevertheless, there are some benefits in providing art lessons on both schools and students. Firstly, art classes increase the impacts among the members of the class. It is also known as a method to mitigate the pressure for students after tighten period. In addition, it is a good way to discover the talents in art section. For example, according to one art class, the school can recognize the students who have ability to draw the nice pictures and develope this skill. One more thing, the students can improve the imigination and have the opportunities to make the creative things. In conclusion, although there are some advantages on studying art classes, students should have options to chose whether they ought to learn art subjects or not. High schools can put them into optional category to develope abilities and interest of the students.
That the subjects should be essential in curriculum at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has controversial. Several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
courses such as painting and ought not to forced to learn at high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
do not provide the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
knowledge for pupils,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is time-consuming for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who do not fond of studying them. In detail, attending an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is
simply
in form of entertainment,
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want to spend this time on receiving necessary lessons
instead
of drawing a picture or singing a song.
Moreover
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
are compulsory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on the result.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mark on science subjects like math, biology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not have talent to perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, the final result of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not appreciated.

Nevertheless
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits in providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
lessons on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
increase the impacts among the members of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. It is
also
known as a method to mitigate the pressure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
after tighten period.
In addition
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to discover the talents in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
section.
For example
, according to one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can recognize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have ability to draw the nice pictures and
Possible spelling mistake found.
develope
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. One more thing, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
imigination
and have the opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the creative things.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages on studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should have options to chose whether they ought to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
subjects or not. High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can put them into optional category to
Possible spelling mistake found.
develope
abilities and interest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Art classes, like painting and drawing, are not as important as other subjects, so some people think that it should not be a compulsory subject at highschool. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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