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The quality of life in large cities is decreasing. What would be the reasons behind this? What measures can be taken to resolve this problem? v.3

The quality of life in large cities is decreasing. What would be the reasons behind this? What measures can be taken to resolve this problem? v. 3
There is no doubt that with technological enhancements, more and more skyscrapers are built. These days engineers are constructing buildings that look more similar rather than focusing on the heritage. As a result, cities are becoming similar. This essay will discuss some of the reasons and is it positive or negative. Firstly, the reason is, people are looking for efficiency rather than design. This is because of the shortage of land, and increasing population. For instance, most buildings are made to maximize the space. The reflection of cultures through these buildings in not a priority. This is a good change because due to globalisation, cultures are getting mixed anyways. Furthermore, as the population is growing we need more of these skyscrapers. If the government starts prioritizing our heritage over space, they might not be able to provide for every citizen. Secondly, it is a good thing because safety is also a big issue. There are certain guidelines an engineer needs to follow to make them secure. For example, in high earthquake zones, a cube building with low centre of gravity is preferred. In zones with frequent tornadoes, tall structures are avoided. this is the reason why cities throughout the world look alike. This is a positive change because the safety of citizens should be the number one priority. In addition, big companies work across the world, and if they have one working safe building, they copy those same designs everywhere to repeat their success. To conclude, if the technology is improving for the betterment of mankind, we should embrace it. Although the buildings nowadays are not a true reflection of any culture, they are much more efficient and safer, which is a good thing.
There is no doubt that with technological enhancements, more and more skyscrapers
are built
. These days engineers are constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
that look more similar
rather
than focusing on the heritage.
As a result
, cities are becoming similar. This essay will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons and is it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.

Firstly
, the reason is,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are looking for efficiency
rather
than design. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the shortage of land, and increasing population.
For instance
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are made
to maximize the space. The reflection of cultures through these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
in not a priority. This is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
due to
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, cultures are getting mixed anyways.
Furthermore
, as the population is growing we need more of these skyscrapers. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
prioritizing our heritage over space, they might not be able to provide for every citizen.

Secondly
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
safety is
also
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue. There are certain guidelines an engineer needs to follow to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them secure.
For example
, in high earthquake zones, a cube
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
with low
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of gravity
is preferred
. In zones with frequent tornadoes, tall structures
are avoided
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is the reason why cities throughout the world look alike. This is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the safety of citizens should be the number one priority.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
work across the world, and if they have one working safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
, they copy those same designs everywhere to repeat their success.

To conclude
, if the technology is improving for the betterment of mankind, we should embrace it. Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
nowadays are not a true reflection of any culture, they are much more efficient and safer, which is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The quality of life in large cities is decreasing. What would be the reasons behind this? What measures can be taken to resolve this problem? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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