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The quality of life in large cities is decreasing. What would be the reasons behind this? What measures can be taken to resolve this problem? v.7

The quality of life in large cities is decreasing. What would be the reasons behind this? What measures can be taken to resolve this problem? v. 7
It is believed by many people that in metro cities standard of living is getting declined. There are many reasons such as traffic congestion and lack of person communication which are crucial factor behind this degradation. However, there are possible solutions which can help to restore the quality of life of city dwellers. One of the pressing problems of mega cities is traffic Jam. This is because present public transport system is inadequate to serve the increasing population in these places. As a result people often got stuck in traffic congestion. As per recent survey of Mumbai city, more than 67% of people travel by public transport and spend approximately 3 hours for commuting between office and their home. However, this issue can be solved by improving the capacity of existing transport system and introduction of new one. For example, in Japan, after the introduction of underground metro, no more issue of traffic jam is observed. Another related issue is lack of communication among people. Majority of people do not get time to talk to their neighbours and relatives due to lack of time. More often than not, they are running to complete their to-do list of every day and do not get time to share their feelings and emotions with others. As a result, they are often feel isolated. This issue can be resolved by arranging the social gatherings during weekends. Platforms where information about such events should be built and made available. This will aid people to come closer which in turn improve their quality of life. In conclusion, due to the fast life of city dwellers, issues such as lack of personal time and reduced personal communication is diminishing their quality of life, but by building public transportation system they can be solved.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that in metro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
standard of living is getting declined. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of person communication which are crucial factor behind this degradation.
However
, there are possible solutions which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to restore the quality of life of city dwellers.

One of the pressing problems of mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
Jam. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
present public transport system is inadequate to serve the increasing population in these places.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
stuck in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion. As per recent survey of Mumbai city, more than 67% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel by public transport and spend approximately 3 hours for commuting between office and their home.
However
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
can
be solved
by improving the capacity of existing transport system and introduction of new one.
For example
, in Japan, after the introduction of underground metro, no more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam
is observed
.

Another related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of communication among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to talk to their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
and relatives due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than not, they are running to complete their to-do list of every day and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to share their feelings and emotions with others.
As a result
, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel isolated. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
can
be resolved
by arranging the social gatherings during weekends. Platforms where information about such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
should
be built
and made available. This will aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
closer which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their quality of life.

In conclusion
, due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
life of city dwellers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
personal communication is diminishing their quality of life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by building public transportation system they can
be solved
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The quality of life in large cities is decreasing. What would be the reasons behind this? What measures can be taken to resolve this problem? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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