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The quality of life in large cities is decreasing. What could be the reasons behind this? What measures can be taken to resolve this problem. v.1

The quality of life in large cities is decreasing. What could be the reasons behind this? What measures can be taken to resolve this problem. v. 1
Cities are growing. Unfortunately this development does have some negative aspects. It is a known fact that the quality of life in large cities is not very good because they are home to more people than they can possibly accommodate. Environmental pollution and unhygienic surroundings are a common problem in many cities. When a city houses more people than it can possibly afford, it is hard to maintain cleanliness. Unhygienic surroundings are the breeding ground for germs and cause many health problems. Vehicular pollution affects the quality of air and leads to many respiratory ailments. All of these affect the quality of life in cities. The cost of living is also pretty high in metros. In large cities, it is hard to find decent accommodation within one’s budget. Consequently, people are forced to buy ridiculously small homes for huge prices. Those who cannot afford to do so spend the whole of their lives in rented apartments. Worse still, the law and order situation in many big cities is not particularly good making them unsafe for visitors as well as those dwelling in those localities. However, many of these problems can be solved with a little bit of planning. High population density is the main reason that reduces the quality of life in cities. Although this is not exactly avoidable, governments can reduce the migration to cities by making jobs available in smaller towns as well. For example, environmental units can be set up in small towns and villages. If these units employ the people living nearby they will not have to move into large cities. What’s more, the fact that cities are home to a large number of people makes it possible for civic bodies to collect more money from taxes etc. If these taxes are utilized properly civic authorities can build better roads and flyovers that will ease the traffic congestion. And by improving the quality of public health care, the government can ensure that all people get medical attention when they need it. In conclusion, poor planning and the centralization of jobs is the main reason that reduces the quality of life in large cities. However, these problems are solvable to a great extent. The governments just need to make a determined effort to decentralize the jobs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cities
are growing. Unfortunately this development does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects. It is a known fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are home to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than they can
possibly
accommodate.

Environmental pollution and unhygienic surroundings are a common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. When a city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than it can
possibly
afford, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to maintain cleanliness. Unhygienic surroundings are the breeding ground for germs and cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Vehicular pollution affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of air and leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
respiratory ailments. All of these affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in cities.

The cost of living is
also
pretty high in metros. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find decent accommodation within one’s budget.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
ridiculously
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
homes for huge prices. Those who cannot afford to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
spend the whole of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in rented apartments. Worse
still
, the law and order situation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is not
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
making them unsafe for visitors
as well
as those dwelling in those localities.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can
be solved
with a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
of planning. High population density is the main reason that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Although this is not exactly avoidable,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the migration to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
by making jobs available in smaller towns
as well
.
For example
, environmental units can
be set
up in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
towns and villages.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
these units employ the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living nearby they will not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. What’s more, the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are home to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it possible for civic bodies to collect more money from taxes etc. If these taxes
are utilized
properly
civic authorities can build better roads and flyovers that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the traffic congestion. And by improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of public health care, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can ensure that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
medical attention when they need it.

In conclusion
, poor planning and the centralization of jobs is the main reason that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
However
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are solvable to a great extent. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a determined effort to decentralize the jobs.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay The quality of life in large cities is decreasing. What could be the reasons behind this? What measures can be taken to resolve this problem. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
379 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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