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The qualities and skills that a person requires to become successful in today's world cannot be learned at a university or other academic institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.6

The qualities and skills that a person requires to become successful in today's world cannot be learned at a university or other academic institutions. v. 6
In the past, people’s diets were not diversified and were able to eat locally produced foods. On the contrary, because of advanced technologies the images have changed as people can experience different types of food in the other region. Although this trend is not without disadvantages, the upsides will justify these. On the one hand, accessing to a wide variety of foods from other regions can provide people with a higher nutritional diet that can promote health and prevent disease. Those foods bring a lot of vitamins and proteins to the user from all around the world. For example, the Noni fruit from the Unite State can help people cure all diseases and even the cancer. Beside, there food products are strange to people of other countries as well as other localities. It enriches people’s meal without travelling a long distance to enjoy it. Sometimes they travelled and are impressed by the region’s food and when they return home, they still want to enjoy the original flavour, so the shipping food is needed. On the other hand, it also has some disadvantages on this. To begin with, the price of the dish will be higher than normal because of the shipping tees and its famous local brand. There are a lot of residents consume the other region's food due to the increase of delivering vehicles, so the carbon dioxide will be emitted into the atmosphere. Moreover, imported foods may contain preservatives because of the long transport time, the consumers will be able to suffer from some health problems. It may be the take one that the buyer does not know. To sum up, there is a lot of disadvantages access to wide of foods. In my opinion, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
diets were not diversified and were able to eat
locally
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of advanced technologies the images have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
region. Although this trend is not without disadvantages, the upsides will justify these.

On the one hand, accessing to a wide variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
regions can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a higher nutritional diet that can promote health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
disease. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
vitamins and proteins to the user from all around the world.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noni
fruit from the Unite State can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cure all diseases and even the cancer. Beside, there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products are strange to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
localities. It enriches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
meal without travelling a long distance to enjoy it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
they travelled and
are impressed
by the region’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and when they return home, they
still
want to enjoy the original
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the shipping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is needed
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages on this. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the price of the dish will be higher than normal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the shipping tees and its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
local brand. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
residents consume the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
region's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
due to the increase of delivering vehicles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the carbon dioxide will
be emitted
into the atmosphere.
Moreover
, imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
may contain preservatives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the long transport time, the consumers will be able to suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health problems. It may be the take one that the buyer does not know.

To sum up, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
disadvantages access to wide of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. In my opinion, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay The qualities and skills that a person requires to become successful in today's world cannot be learned at a university or other academic institutions. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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