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Somepeople say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Somepeople say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. v. 1
In urban centres around the world, a great deal of time is wasted daily due to transportation jams. This is a serious issue because it affects people’s livelihoods and mental health. This essay will consider the main causes of traffic congestion, before proposing two possible solutions. The most important cause of traffic problems in cities is a lack of public transport. With few alternatives, many people choose to travel by car, as it is quicker and more convenient. As a result, traffic jams occur, particularly on popular routes such as main roads. Another key factor is uniform working hours across the city. The majority of people start and finish work or school at a similar time. This means that road becomes extremely congested at certain times of day, for instance, at “rush hour” in the morning and evening. Fortunately, however, there are two promising solutions to this problem. First of all, local governments should invest more in public transportation. This would make this option more attractive and reduce the number of cars on the road. For example, in my hometown, the council has created a network of cycle paths which encourage people to cycle to work. Secondly, the goverment could introduce different working hours for schools and public facilities, which would further cut down the number of commuters travelling at particular times. In conclusion, congestion is a serious problem which is primarily caused by limited public transportation options, along with the shared working schedule of many urban dwellers. I recommend that governments address this issue by investing in public transport infrastructure, and implementing varied working hours in public facilities.
In urban
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
around the world, a great deal of time
is wasted
daily due to transportation jams. This is a serious issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
livelihoods and mental health. This essay will consider the main causes of traffic congestion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
proposing two possible solutions.

The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
cause of traffic problems in cities is a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport. With few alternatives,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to travel by car, as it is quicker and more convenient.
As a result
, traffic jams occur,
particularly
on popular routes such as main roads. Another key factor is uniform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
across the city. The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
and finish work or school at a similar time. This means that road becomes
extremely
congested at certain times of day,
for instance
, at “rush
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour”
in the morning and evening.

Fortunately
,
however
, there are two promising solutions to this problem.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should invest more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this option more attractive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of cars on the road.
For example
, in my hometown, the council has created a network of cycle paths which encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to cycle to work.
Secondly
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
could introduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for schools and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
facilities, which would
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the number of commuters travelling at particular times.

In conclusion
, congestion is a serious problem which is
primarily
caused by limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation options, along with the shared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
schedule of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
urban dwellers. I recommend that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
address this issue by investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport infrastructure, and implementing varied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
facilities.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Somepeople say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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