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q4 Cultural sensitivity. The professor describes some social differences between India and America. Explain how these differences relate to doing business. v.1

q4 Cultural sensitivity. The professor describes some social differences between India and America. Explain how these differences relate to doing business. v. 1
It goes without saying that regulations are the most vital key to every one’s life to make the future more organize. However, some people argue that discipline should learn from babyhood whereas, some people have different opinion about the issue. I strongly agree that we have to learn the rules and regulations from the early stage of our life. Those believing that childhood is not the perfect time of learning discipline simply, they are lacking behind from the modern world. In my following paragraphs I am trying to explain some reasons with relevant lifetime examples beside that, before giving a reasoned conclusion I will try to discuss the others views. At the very outset of my paragraph I would like to mention that, childhood is the period when one baby can learn what is right and what is wrong. Since they have no knowledge about the life, positive rules will make them more practical. Researches found that, from the age of 7 one child can able to understand and right directions from parent will help them to get right decision. Another most crucial point is that, manners does not get from an institute, it comes from parents at the time of grown up. Similarly, if parents do not teach his or her baby how to behave with the seniors or whom to respect, in the teenage period the kid become immature. To cite an example, every mother teaches her child to say hello to seniors and keep silence when you are in the prayer hall and so on. All those activities create an image in the mind of a kid and he or she will do the same in the future. This is how a kid know about disciplinary format. Last but not least, early age is the perfect spell to realize the value of time. In addition, childhood is the best period to learn about the advantages of timing and disadvantages of mistiming. On the other hand, some people have different opinion regarding the topic. They believe infancy may not be the best time for learning discipline. Whereas they have enough time to learn it. From their point of view, infancy is a very sensitive phase of every kids, they may not be able to take the burden of these rules and regulations. In this circumstance, kids may become emotionally imbalanced, feels pressure and lose the interest of learning the new things. To sum up, it can be said that, early age is the perfect time to learn about the discipline and know how to obey the rules rather the younger stage.
It goes without saying that regulations are the most vital key to every one’s life to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the future more organize.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from babyhood whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion about the issue. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and regulations from the early stage of our life. Those believing that childhood is not the perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
simply
, they are lacking behind from the modern world. In my following paragraphs I am trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons with relevant lifetime examples beside that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving a reasoned conclusion I will try to discuss the others views.

At the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
outset of my paragraph I would like to mention that, childhood is the period when one baby can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
what is right and what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. Since they have no knowledge about the life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more practical. Researches found that, from the age of 7 one child
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
understand and right directions from parent will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
right decision. Another most crucial point is that, manners does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from an institute, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from parents at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of grown up.
Similarly
, if parents do not teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
baby how to behave with the seniors or whom to respect, in the teenage period the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
become immature. To cite an example, every mother teaches her child to say hello to seniors and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
silence when you are in the prayer hall and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. All those activities create an image in the mind of a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
kid and
he or she will do the same in the future. This is how a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
know about disciplinary format. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, early age is the perfect spell to realize the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
In addition
, childhood is the best period to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about the advantages of timing and disadvantages of mistiming.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion regarding the topic. They believe infancy may not be the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
it. From their point of view, infancy is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sensitive phase of every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "kid"?
kids
, they may not be able to take the burden of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and regulations. In this circumstance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
may become
emotionally
imbalanced, feels pressure and lose the interest of learning the new things.

To sum up, it can
be said
that, early age is the perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
and know how to obey the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
rather
the younger stage.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay q4 Cultural sensitivity. The professor describes some social differences between India and America. Explain how these differences relate to doing business. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
433 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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