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The professor describes an experimental system of road management. Explain how this experiment is related to road users' behavior. v.1

The professor describes an experimental system of road management. Explain how this experiment is related to road users' behavior. v. 1
In the modern world, many students are willing to carry the clothes and accessories which are they want to wear. In this reason, although many people are keen to think that academic institutions should allow the students to carry the dress which they are willing to wear, others feel that there are should not be allowed certain types of clothes such as casualties, hoodies and sport wears. Personally, I believe that the uniforms are not convenient and suitable for the students as well as for the teachers. On the one hand, it is true that the main purpose of allowing the learners to wear whatever they want is academic freedom, as some pupils have claimed that they feel stress and lack of concentration when they carry the clothes such as suit, tie and shirt. Furthermore, this policy is suitable for the poor people, as many families could not afford such kinds of expensive uniforms and official dresses. For instance, many people believe that the main purpose of the universities and schools should be academic outcomes. In this regard, the uniforms are not essential for the many individuals. On the other hand, it is clear that not permitting casualties can teach the children to be responsible. In this case, if the children are forced to bear the dresses, which are presented by the school authorities, they will learn how to take care of themselves. Moreover, such kinds of dresses are useful for creating a friendly atmosphere. To illustrate, some pupils claimed that they are able to share their ideas and opinions when they feel familiar with other individuals. In conclusion, although many people reckon to think that official dresses are not convenient, others feel that such kinds of outfits can create a friendly atmosphere. However, I believe that the learners should focus on the academic outcomes, not on the external appearance. In this reason, I believe that the first option is more suitable for the people.
In the modern world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students are willing to carry the clothes and accessories which are they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
. In this reason, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are keen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
institutions should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the students to carry the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
which they are willing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that there are should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
certain types of clothes such as casualties, hoodies and sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wears
.
Personally
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the uniforms are not convenient and suitable for the students
as well
as for the teachers.

On the one hand, it is true that the main purpose of allowing the learners to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
whatever they want is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
freedom, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pupils have claimed that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and lack of concentration when they carry the clothes such as suit, tie and shirt.
Furthermore
, this policy is suitable for the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families could not afford such kinds of expensive uniforms and official
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the main purpose of the universities and schools should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
outcomes. In this regard, the uniforms are not essential for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that not permitting casualties can teach the children to be responsible.
In this case
, if the children
are forced
to bear the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
, which
are presented
by the school authorities, they will learn how to take care of themselves.
Moreover
, such kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
are useful for creating a friendly atmosphere. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pupils claimed that they are able to share their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and opinions when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
individuals.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reckon to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that official
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
are not convenient, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that such kinds of outfits can create a friendly atmosphere.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the learners should focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
outcomes, not on the external appearance. In this reason, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the
first
option is more suitable for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The professor describes an experimental system of road management. Explain how this experiment is related to road users' behavior. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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