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Higher education could be funded in three ways. All costs paid by government, all costs paid by students, or students paying all costs through a government loan. What are the advantages of these choices? v.2

Higher education could be funded in three ways. All costs paid by government, all costs paid by students, or students paying all costs through a government loan. What are the advantages of these choices? v. 2
Finding for tertiary education by government is important for a nation that wishes to excel in various fields. I believe there are important benefits that would be derived, irrespective of the means by which this funding is achieved. In this essay, the advantages of university education would be discussed. Tertiary education fully funded by government is important. For example, it shows that the government of the day is a responsible one that upholds high educational standards. Consequently, there would be accountability for any money spent, hence, leading to judicious use of funds. Furthermore, this translates to a high standard of learning for students that can contribute meaningfully to society. On the other hand, if students are allowed to pay completely for their education, it brings about diligence on the part of the students. For instance, no one would undermine giving good value for their money, as students would study hard to make good grades at the completion of their study, and be able to contribute to the development of society. Finally, offering loans to students for their education offers important benefits. For example, it makes students accountable to both the government and their parents, as they would not allow for the importance of the loan to be under utilised. Another important benefit education funded by government loan brings is that, it makes students more focused in their studies as they would eventually graduate with good grades. In conclusion, irrespective of the means by which education is funded, it ultimately benefits both the government, individuals, and society, as this would skilled and knowledgeable graduates who can add positively to the nation's development.
Finding for tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for a nation that wishes to excel in various fields. I believe there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
that would
be derived
, irrespective of the means by which this funding
is achieved
. In this essay, the advantages of university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
would
be discussed
.

Tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
fully
funded by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
.
For example
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of the day is a responsible one that upholds high educational standards.
Consequently
, there would be accountability for any money spent,
hence
, leading to judicious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of funds.
Furthermore
, this translates to a high standard of learning for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that can contribute
meaningfully
to society.

On the other hand
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to pay completely for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, it brings about diligence on the part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For instance
, no one would undermine giving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
value for their money, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades at the completion of their study, and be able to contribute to the development of society.

Finally
, offering loans to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
offers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
.
For example
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
accountable to both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and their parents, as they would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
for the importance of the loan to be under
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
funded by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
loan brings is that, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
more focused in their studies as they would
eventually
graduate with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades.

In conclusion
, irrespective of the means by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is funded
, it
ultimately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, individuals, and society, as this would skilled and knowledgeable graduates who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
positively
to the nation's development.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Higher education could be funded in three ways. All costs paid by government, all costs paid by students, or students paying all costs through a government loan. What are the advantages of these choices? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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