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Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. You should write at least 2 v.5

Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. You should write at least 2 v. 5
The advancement in communication technology has significantly altered the way people communicate with each others. While it is convenient in contacting friends and family, allowing people to reach them at anytime and from anywhere they want, it has had a detrimental impact on their social lives. I totally agree with the statement because it decreased the levels of socialisation and intimacy. It cannot be denied that communication tools such as mobile phones and computers made it convenient to keep people connected. Having said that, I believe that people used to spend more meaningful time together, before the introduction of modern communication system. Although people message each other often, many times they will not actually meet and spend time together. I would say that most of our relationships are superficial in recent years In terms of decreased intimacy, it is becoming more and more prevalent to become a friend with someone who has never met on the Internet. Although people may share their personal lives and communicate with them on the Internet, using social media or other forms of communication tools, they are not someone who can rely on in case of an emergency. Focusing too much on ''friends'' on the Internet decreases the time spent with close family members and friends, subsequently leading to an issue of social isolation. In conclusion, I completely agree with the idea that the new forms of communication such as email and messaging have negatively impacted on people's social activity. People used to have more intimate relationships with loved ones, rather than focusing on the superficial friendship based on the social media connection.
The advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
technology has
significantly
altered the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate with each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
. While it is convenient in contacting friends and family, allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to reach them at anytime and from anywhere they want, it has had a detrimental impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it decreased the levels of
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialisation' is British English.
socialisation
and intimacy.

It cannot
be denied
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
tools such as mobile phones and computers made it convenient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
connected. Having said that, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spend more meaningful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the introduction of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
system. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
message each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
they will not actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together. I would say that most of our relationships are superficial in recent
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
years


In terms of decreased intimacy, it is becoming more and more prevalent to become a friend with someone who has never met on the Internet. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may share their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and communicate with them on the Internet, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media or other forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
tools, they are not someone who can rely on in case of an emergency. Focusing too much on ''friends'' on the Internet decreases the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent with close family members and friends,
subsequently
leading to an issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
isolation.

In conclusion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the new forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
such as email and messaging have
negatively
impacted on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
activity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have more intimate relationships with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones,
rather
than focusing on the superficial friendship based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media connection.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. You should write at least 2 v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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