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Some people think that the automobile has improved modern life. Others think that the automobile has caused serious problems. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

Some people think that the automobile has improved modern life. Others think that the automobile has caused serious problems. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Automobile is one of the most remarkable inventions in this world like internet and technology advancement. Automobile has improved modern life into the peaks in a easier way. Some people think that automobile has caused serious problems. On the contrary, in my opinion, automobile have improved modern life a lot. The following reasons and examples which I mention will strengthen my point of view. First of all, in this highly competitive world, always people want to do their job as quick as possible. Automobiles makes their job easy by transporting people from one place to another. May be 10 years back, automobile like car was considered as a luxury item which can be bought only by rich people. But now, that concept have changed drastically. In the present era, automobile like car has become a basic need for every individual in their own life. Automobile industries are developing new features to help people for better commute. In addition, every time automobile industry tries to invent new features and easy to operate technological changes in the interior of the four wheeler. For instance, now a days, cars have GPS features, Bluetooth availability through which mobile can operate while driving, adjustable seats, camera backup, air conditioner and many more options can be seen in modern technological advancement. Moreover, transportation is much required in case of emergency. For example, my grand mother used to tell me, in those days it was very difficult to go to hospital during emergency by bullock carts. Finally, people can travel from one country to another within a day. Whereas in early days, people used to struggle to travel for longer distances. Now a days, duration to travel farther distances is very less. By the way of conclusion, automobile has improved modern life by making transportation much easier, also by inventing new features to feel people comfortable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Automobile
is one of the most remarkable inventions in this world like internet and technology advancement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Automobile
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
into the peaks in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
easier way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automobile
has caused serious problems.
On the contrary
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automobile
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
a lot. The following reasons and examples which I mention will strengthen my point of view.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in this
highly
competitive world, always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to do their job as quick as possible.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Automobiles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their job easy by transporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from one place to another. May be 10 years back,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automobile
like car
was considered
as a luxury item which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "that concept has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that concept have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
drastically
. In the present era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automobile
like car has become a basic need for every individual in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Automobile
industries are developing new features to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for better commute.

In addition
, every time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automobile
industry tries to invent new features and easy to operate technological
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the interior of the
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
four wheeler
.
For instance
,
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
, cars have GPS features, Bluetooth availability through which mobile can operate while driving, adjustable seats, camera backup, air conditioner and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more options can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technological advancement.
Moreover
, transportation is much required in case of emergency.
For example
, my grand mother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me, in those days it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to go to hospital during emergency by bullock carts.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can travel from one country to another within a day. Whereas in early days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to struggle to travel for longer distances.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
, duration to travel farther distances is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less.

By the way of conclusion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automobile
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by making transportation much easier,
also
by inventing new features to feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
comfortable.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Some people think that the automobile has improved modern life. Others think that the automobile has caused serious problems. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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