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The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government should reflect this. To what extent do you agree v.7

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government should reflect this. 7
Have you ever wondered if the corona virus wouldn’t spread so fast if people were more careful? ‘It's easier to stop something happening in the first place than to repair the damage after it has happened’ is a very true saying that applies to the current health situation in the world. Everyone today is aware of the corona virus and its increasing cases. At first, everyone was confused as to why and how it spread. If people know right off the bat how dangerous it is, it definitely could’ve been avoided. After the big news that it has spread almost everywhere, panic began to rise. Most of the panic was caused by the media, because you can see people talking about it on TV or radio almost every 10 minutes. Thanks to that, people have started mass buying things like food and hygienic products. What they don’t realise is, that it will all go to waste. The consequences of the situation can be viewed differently. In the pragmatic view, prevention would be much better for the economy. Treatments and research costs much more money than the prevention and that is usually a big problem for the lower class and people struggling with funds. If a disease isn’t prevented, millions of people can’t go to work or to school. This results in closed shops, companies and overall, losing money. Everything is restricted and many theatres, cinemas and sport events are cancelled, leaving people bored and irritated. From the human point of view, people are currently helping each other more. Many organisations have been launched and support those in need of help. For example, younger people buy groceries for the elderly and people with terminal illnesses, because they are more vulnerable. There is also the Red Cross organisation that has helped everyone for years. Many telephone lines have been launched for medical support and mental support. After all, we always need human contact, even in the worst situations. We have to be careful everyday and follow some preventions in order to not get ill. Changing old unhealthy habits can make a big difference. Things such as smoking or drinking alcohol can damage our immune system and make us more vulnerable to diseases. Eating healthy and having a varied diet are a big health booster. Taking care of ourselves and our hygiene shouldn’t be neglected either. As a result
Have you ever wondered if the
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
wouldn’t spread
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were more careful?

‘It's easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
something happening in the
first
place than to repair the damage after it has happened’ is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
true saying that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
health situation in the world. Everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is aware of the
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
and its increasing cases. At
first
, everyone
was confused
as to why and how it spread. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know right off the bat how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
it is, it definitely could’ve
been avoided
. After the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
news that it has spread almost everywhere, panic began to rise. Most of the panic
was caused
by the media,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
talking about it on TV or radio almost every 10 minutes. Thanks to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
mass buying things like food and hygienic products. What they don’t
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
is, that it will all go to waste.

The consequences of the situation can
be viewed
differently
. In the pragmatic view, prevention would be much better for the economy. Treatments and research costs much more money than the prevention and
that is
usually
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
problem for the lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
struggling with funds. If a disease isn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
, millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can’t go to work or to school. This results in closed shops,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
overall
, losing money. Everything
is restricted
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
, cinemas and sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are cancelled
, leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
bored and irritated. From the human point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
currently
helping each other more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
have
been launched
and support those in need of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
For example
, younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
groceries for the elderly and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with terminal illnesses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are more vulnerable. There is
also
the Red Cross
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
that has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
everyone for years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
telephone lines have
been launched
for medical support and mental support.
After all
, we always need human contact, even in the worst situations.

We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be careful
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
and follow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
preventions
in order to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ill. Changing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
unhealthy habits can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
difference. Things such as smoking or drinking alcohol can damage our immune system and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us more vulnerable to diseases. Eating healthy and having a varied diet are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
health booster. Taking care of ourselves and our hygiene shouldn’t
be neglected
either. As a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
result
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government should reflect this. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
395 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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