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In some countries the average weight people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v.1

In some countries the average weight people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v. 1
Nowadays, there are concerns in several countries that their people are getting fatter, becoming less healthy and facing lower levels of fitness. One of the main reasons for this problem is the popularity of junk food. Exercising could be a recommended solution to curb this rising problem. Junk food such as hamburgers, french fries and any other oily foods causes lots of health consequences as it is considered as high-calorie food. Excess calories from junk food are usually stored in various parts of our body, for instance, muscles, joints and the belly area. This causes our body to be bigger in size, but not in strength, and making our health levels decrease. Also, junk food is one of the main reasons for health problems, for example, diabetes and cardiovascular diseases. Thus, junk food is considered to be harmful for our bodies. In order to combat those excess calories from junk food, exercising is usually recommended because of its simplicity. Exercises can be very simple and easy to do, one example was conducted Thai health officials by swinging arms during a walk for at least 2 hours. This makes all parts of our body active because each part is moving during this type of exercise. Also, in Singapore, the government has launched an application to encourage its citizens to go out for a walk, for example, if 8, 000 steps are reached within one day, promotions will be awarded from partnered businesses. All these measures keep people staying healthy. In summary, most health concerns are pointed out to junk food as it can cause such health consequences to our body. But, this can be easily solved by doing frequent exercises and being active. So, let’s stay away from hamburgers and start jogging!
Nowadays, there are concerns in several countries that their
people
are getting fatter, becoming less healthy and facing lower levels of fitness. One of the main reasons for this problem is the popularity of
junk
food
. Exercising could be a recommended solution to curb this rising problem.

Junk
food
such as hamburgers, french fries and any other oily
foods
causes lots of
health
consequences as it
is considered
as high-calorie
food
. Excess calories from
junk
food
are
usually
stored in various parts of our
body
,
for instance
, muscles, joints and the belly area. This causes our
body
to be
bigger in size
,
but
not in strength, and making our
health
levels decrease.
Also
,
junk
food
is one of the main reasons for
health
problems,
for example
, diabetes and cardiovascular diseases.
Thus
,
junk
food
is considered
to be harmful for our bodies.

In order to combat those excess calories from
junk
food
, exercising is
usually
recommended
because
of its simplicity. Exercises can be
very
simple and easy to do, one example
was conducted
Thai
health
officials by swinging arms during a walk for at least 2 hours. This
makes
all parts of our
body
active
because
each part is moving during this type of exercise.
Also
, in Singapore, the
government
has launched an application to encourage its citizens to go out for a walk,
for example
, if 8, 000 steps
are reached
within one day, promotions will
be awarded
from partnered businesses. All these measures
keep
people
staying healthy.

In summary, most
health
concerns
are pointed
out to
junk
food
as it can cause such
health
consequences to
our
body
.
But
, this can be
easily
solved by doing frequent exercises and being active.
So
,
let
’s stay away from hamburgers and
start
jogging!
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries the average weight people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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