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The prevention of health problem and illness is morr importent than the treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this to what extent do you agree. v.1

The prevention of health problem and illness is morr importent than the treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this v. 1
Recently, it has become a common practise to use animals for scientific studies to try out new drugs and also check how secure and efficient other medical products are. In my opinion, I believe animals can be used to investigate the potential of medications in cases of epidemic situations, while they should be kept away from regular laboratory procedures. On one hand, many think it is totally wrong to expose animals to danger in the name of investigating drugs and his act should be prohibited. This is because animals are living beings and deserve to live their best lives and also to save them from undeserved brutality. They believe that drugs can be investigated without bringing harm to animals in the name of testing an hypothesis. In other words, despite the fact that these are creatures, there are better ways to ascertain the potency of medicine instead of using it on animals. For example, a rat can be used to assess the effectiveness of anti-malarial drugs since it will benefit the people. On the other hand, some other people think as long as the scientific procedures are going to be useful to human life, it should be encouraged. For instance, if there is a pandemic situation in the world and rats are needed to test the proposed vaccines, they should be used to save human lives. Finally, in my opinion, using animals for tests should be only during a pandemic situation or serious health crisis. In other situations, I believe there are other ways that drugs can be tested without exposing animals to danger or harm. This is because some of these animals die in the process while the genetic formation of some are eternally altered. In conclusion, government agencies, zoo administrators as well as medical practitioners should all join hands in eradicating animal brutality, which may be done by implementing policies and ensuring that they are adhered to as well. This will ensure that animals are also given the right to live and thrive.
Recently, it has become a common
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for scientific studies to try out new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
how secure and efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
medical products are. In my opinion, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to investigate the potential of medications in cases of epidemic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
, while they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
away from regular laboratory procedures.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to expose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
in the name of investigating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
and his act should
be prohibited
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are living beings and deserve to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
also
to save them from undeserved brutality. They believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
can
be investigated
without bringing harm to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the name of testing
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
hypothesis. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, despite the fact that these are creatures, there are better ways to ascertain the potency of medicine
instead
of using it on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
For example
, a rat can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to assess the effectiveness of anti-malarial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
since it will benefit the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
as long as the scientific procedures are going to be useful to human life, it should
be encouraged
.
For instance
, if there is a pandemic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
in the world and rats
are needed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
the proposed vaccines, they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to save human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Finally
, in my opinion, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
during a pandemic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
or serious health crisis. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
, I believe there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
without exposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
or harm. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
in the process while the genetic formation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are
eternally
altered.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
agencies, zoo administrators
as well
as medical practitioners should all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
hands in eradicating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
brutality, which may
be done
by implementing policies and ensuring that they
are adhered
to
as well
. This will ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and thrive.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The prevention of health problem and illness is morr importent than the treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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