Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people believe that social networking sites have a huge impact on both individual and society, to what extent do you agree and disagree. v.1

Many people believe that social networking sites have a huge impact on both individual and society, v. 1
Presently many people work hard in noise and stressful surroundings full day, therefore after they feel fatigue and headache. Moreover, everyone are not the same, therefore they prefer to spend difference free time, someone use tools for enhancing brain while others give a rest of the full body. Thus, I think active recreation as effective as passive one, and it depends completely on preference of people. Currently, people who prefer in free time test or improve mind can gain access easier to all word games whatever they want. Since, around the world grows popularity of puzzle games, therefore their types are expanding, modifying and getting access to different devices. For example, people in the past bought the newspaper with crossword puzzles: however, today customers have it on smartphones, the PC and so on, moreover, each person can find own type of word games such as the Key-word or the Spaceword. Furthermore, scientist around the world prove such activity keep memory healthy and can hinder Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. Another version of active leisure is reading books that help people diminish stress level. For example, today we have not only the scientist or serious genres of books, but the humour or more for fun too, such as the humorous detective or fantastic. Therefore, this type activity helps relax and up mood at the same time. However, many people prefer nothing to do, especially what is touching brain. For example, someone lay on sofa with eyes are closed or sits in a park, all whatever people want depending on a place there they live and level of tiredness. Thus, this type of rest provides benefit to all muscles of the head and help them recover. To sum up, I believe people can independently decide that version of the rest they want; however, my preferable activity is puzzle games and not serious books.
Presently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in noise and stressful surroundings full day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
after they feel fatigue and headache.
Moreover
, everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "is", "was", "were".
are
not the same,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
they prefer to spend difference free time, someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "uses", "used".
use
tools for enhancing brain while others give a rest of the full body.
Thus
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
active recreation as effective as passive one, and it depends completely on preference of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Currently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who prefer in free time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
mind can gain access easier to all word
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
whatever they want. Since, around the world grows popularity of puzzle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
are expanding, modifying and getting access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
devices.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
the newspaper with crossword puzzles:
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
customers have it on smartphones, the PC and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on,
moreover
, each person can find
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of word
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
such as the Key-word or the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Spaceword
.
Furthermore
, scientist around the world prove such activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
memory healthy and can hinder Alzheimer’s disease and dementia.

Another version of active leisure is reading books that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
diminish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
we have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the scientist or serious genres of books,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'humour' is British English.
humour
or more for fun too, such as the humorous detective or fantastic.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
relax and up mood at the same time.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer nothing to do,
especially
what is touching brain.
For example
, someone lay on sofa with eyes
are closed
or sits in a park, all whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want depending on a place there they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and level of tiredness.
Thus
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of rest provides benefit to all muscles of the head and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them recover.

To sum up, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
independently
decide that version of the rest they want;
however
, my preferable activity is puzzle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and not serious books.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites have a huge impact on both individual and society, v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
310 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts