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The pie charts below illustrate the number of journal articles read per week by all students PhD students and junior lecturers at an Australian university v.1

The pie charts below illustrate the number of journal articles read per week by all students PhD students and junior lecturers at an Australian university v. 1
Education is the process of facilitating or the acquisition of knowledge, skills, values, beliefs, and habits. In this contemporary world most of the people prefer to go outside from the house to study at a university or college. Which brings up with positive as well as negative impact on students. I will discuss both the views in following paragraphs. To begin with, there is a plethora of benefits of learning overseas. First and foremost, it helps to boost student confidence level, meanwhile skills such as communication and thinking. In a case on this point, when a pupil goes foreign nation in their academic field during that time, they meet with various kinds of different human, which grows their confidence level or makes new friends. Secondly, the opportunity of getting jobs should increase. To justify, whenever a student completes their degree from another country then they are able to get a high paid job easily in their city moreover spend their life very happily. Every coin has two sides. Therefore, scholar suffers from some problems while learning in abroad. Firstly, language problems are faced by the learner, because there are lots of students who are not able to understand the international language due to that, they are not in a position to express their views and not capable of understand their academic errors. Last but not least, the person does not give proper attention towards their career, because they have to do all work own-self. Such as cooking food, part time job and soon things. In conclusion, learning in abroad has many positive effects, but it is irrefutable that it has some negative points too. Which indirect effects on individual life
Education is the process of facilitating or the acquisition of knowledge,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, values, beliefs, and habits. In this contemporary world most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to go outside from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to study at a university or college. Which brings up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. I will discuss both the views in following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is a plethora of benefits of learning overseas.
First
and foremost, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
confidence level, meanwhile
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as communication and thinking. In a case on this point, when a pupil goes foreign nation in their academic field during that time, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with various kinds of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
human, which grows their confidence level or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
new friends.
Secondly
, the opportunity of getting jobs should increase. To justify, whenever a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
completes their degree from another country then they are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a high paid job
easily
in their city
moreover
spend their life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happily
.

Every coin has two sides.
Therefore
, scholar suffers from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems while learning in abroad.
Firstly
, language problems
are faced
by the learner,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are not able to understand the international language due to that, they are not in a position to express their views and not capable of understand their academic errors. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the person does not give proper attention towards their career,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do all work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
-self. Such as cooking food,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
job and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
things.

In conclusion
, learning in abroad has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is irrefutable that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points too. Which indirect effects on individual
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The pie charts below illustrate the number of journal articles read per week by all students PhD students and junior lecturers at an Australian university v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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