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The graph below shows the spending on research into renewable sources of energy in four countries between 1975 to 2000 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant v.1

The graph below shows the spending on research into renewable sources of energy in four countries between 1975 to 2000
Nowadays, universities providing various distance learning courses for students to improve their skills which boost their career growth. However, there are both pros and cons to do this. I will discuss some positive thing of distance or online courses and some of the challenges to be overcome. Let's begin with the first advantage of e-learning education offered by some educational institution. One of the main positives of the online learning is time saving and cost effective for many pupils. What I mean by this is that most of the people enrolled them in online curriculum because of their strict time management they don't have free time to study on a regular basis. For Example, people who are working in an organization will engage in online education to expertise their proficiency. This can make them to a get job promotion or advancement. Secondly, correspondence education helps most of the economically poor people who can not able to continue regular class could able to register to the program. For instance, people who are suffering for money they could admit themselves in the university and can start the program with a lesser program fee compared to full time courses, although they can go to work to bring up their family in the society. This leads to flourish their lives and skills. On the other side of the argument, mostly people enrol in courses for advance their skills. But, some of the reputed organizations are not accepting the courses because they believe that, pupils who have pursued an online program might lack in strong knowledge in the respective domain. This leads, more Reluctant to the students to enrol them in the courses. To conclude, although most of the people are ready to join the online program, due the lack of the opportunity, they show some reluctance to enrol in the courses. I believe that organizations should test the student's knowledge and provide a better opportunity for the skilled persons the way forward.
Nowadays, universities providing various distance learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
for students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which boost their career growth.
However
, there are both pros and cons to do this. I will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thing of distance or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
challenges to
be overcome
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the
first
advantage of e-learning education offered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
educational institution. One of the main positives of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
learning is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving and cost effective for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pupils. What I mean by this is that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enrolled them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
curriculum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management they don't have free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to study on a regular basis.
For Example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are working in an organization will engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
education to expertise their proficiency. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job promotion or advancement.

Secondly
, correspondence education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
most of the
economically
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can not able to continue regular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
Did you mean "could be able"?
could able
to register to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are suffering for money they could admit themselves in the university and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
with a lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
fee compared to full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, although they can go to work to bring up their family in the society. This leads to flourish their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the other side of the argument,
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enrol in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
for advance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reputed organizations are not accepting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that, pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have pursued an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
might lack in strong knowledge in the respective domain. This leads, more Reluctant to the students to enrol them in the courses.

To conclude
, although most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
, due the lack of the opportunity, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reluctance to enrol in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
. I believe that organizations should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
the student's knowledge and provide a better opportunity for the skilled persons the way forward.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph below shows the spending on research into renewable sources of energy in four countries between 1975 to 2000

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
328 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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