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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The personal and work-related challenges that young people face today are not any different from the challenges their parents and grandparents faced when they were young. v.691

The personal and work-related challenges that young people face today are not any different from the challenges their parents and grandparents faced when they were young. v. 691
Throughout history, adolescents have had difficulties in order to overcome different problems in puberty ages. The controversial question which arises here is whether the nature of problems faced by the youth has changed compared with previous generations or not. I am of the opinion that these challenges have been changed dramatically. In what follows, I will elaborate on my viewpoint. First of all, the increase in the world population has introduced highly competitive demands for open jobs. Nowadays, the upgrade of public education-level, along with the increase in population-level, has given rise to immensely competing in the job atmosphere. These competitions, in turn, introduce lots of difficulties for the young who want to start their career. On the other hand, with the absence of a competitive job atmosphere, previous generations didn' t confront these challenges. Take my brother' s experience as an example. When my brother was fifteen, he decided to left school in order to get a full-time job. But, he failed to find any position without a diploma. By contrast, without attending school, my grandfather had been able to find an above-average job when he was sixteen. Had not the competing career environment exist, my brother would have found a job in the same way as my grandpa did. Moreover, the development of science and technology has brought about numerous scientific fields, which has made the process of finding a prosperous career harder. Old generations mostly followed their ancestors' fields of work without any problem, but new generations are facing to the huge number of fields and branches which they can step into it. Thus, a sense of confusion is common in adolescents when they want to choose their way. For instance, when I completed high school, I faced with the dilemma of choosing my major in university. From one perspective, I could continue my father' s way, and from another view, I could study my favorite major. Finally, After a lot of research and efforts, I opted for my field of interest. Not only did I come up with this hard decision, lots of my friends also did. In short, all the aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that the nature of difficulties that adolescents faced with has been transformed. Appearing new problems related to the hiring process, coupled with the availability of vast numbers of working fields, are the reasons which strengthen my point of view. In the end, despite the fact that the youth are facing new challenges, it is highly suggested that they make use of their parents' experiences.
Throughout history, adolescents have had difficulties in order to overcome
different
problems
in puberty ages. The controversial question which arises here is whether the nature of
problems
faced by the youth has
changed
compared with previous generations or not. I am of the opinion that these challenges have been
changed
dramatically
. In what follows, I will elaborate on my viewpoint.

First of all
, the increase in the world population has introduced
highly
competitive demands for open
jobs
. Nowadays, the upgrade of public education-level, along with the increase in population-level, has
given
rise to
immensely
competing in the
job
atmosphere. These competitions, in turn, introduce lots of difficulties for the young who want to
start
their career.
On the other hand
, with the absence of a competitive
job
atmosphere, previous generations
didn&
#039; t confront these challenges. Take my
brother&
#039; s experience as an example. When my brother was fifteen, he decided to
left
school in order to
get
a full-time
job
.
But
, he failed to find any position without a diploma. By contrast, without attending school, my grandfather had been able to find an above-average
job
when he was sixteen. Had not the competing career environment exist, my brother would have found a
job
in the same way
as my grandpa did.

Moreover
, the development of science and technology has brought about numerous scientific
fields
, which has made the process of finding a prosperous career harder.
Old
generations
mostly
followed their
ancestors&
#039;
fields
of work without any
problem
,
but
new generations are facing to the huge number of
fields
and branches which they can step into it.
Thus
, a sense of confusion is common in adolescents when they want to choose their way.
For instance
, when I completed high school, I faced with the dilemma of choosing my major in university. From one perspective, I could continue my
father&
#039; s way, and from another view, I could study my favorite major.
Finally
, After
a lot of
research and efforts, I opted for my
field
of interest. Not
only
did I
come
up with this
hard
decision, lots of my friends
also
did.

In short, all the aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that the nature of difficulties that adolescents faced with has
been transformed
. Appearing new
problems
related to the hiring process, coupled with the availability of vast numbers of working
fields
, are the reasons which strengthen my point of view. In the
end
, despite the fact that the youth are facing new challenges, it is
highly
suggested that they
make
use
of their
parents&
#039; experiences.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay The personal and work-related challenges that young people face today are not any different from the challenges their parents and grandparents faced when they were young. v. 691

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
426 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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