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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. v.19

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. v. 19
IT IS OFTEN SAID THAT CHILDRENS EATING HABITS HAS CHANGED SINCE ONE DECADE AND THAT IS WHY THERE IS 20% BOOST IN THE OBESE OFFSPRINGS. FIRSTLY, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS HOW THE AVALABILITY OF A VARIETY OF FAST FOOD IS THE MAJOR REASON BEHIND THIS ISSUE AND SECONDLY, WHAT ARE THE DETRIMENTAL IMPACT ON THE JUVENILE'S HEALTH. TO START WITH, THE MAIN REASON IS THAT TODAY, CHILDRE HAVE MORE CHOICES TO CHOOSE WHAT TO EAT WITHOUT BEING CONCIOUS ABOUT THE NUTRITION VALUES SUCH AS BURGERS, SANDWICHES AND SO ON. THIS WILL MAKE THEIR MOUTH WATERING AFTER SEEING OR TASTING THAT DISHES. SOMETIMES, THE STATUS IN THE SOCIETY OF THE FAMILY FORCE OFFSPRINGS TO CHOOSE SUCH FOOD SINCE THEIR CHILDHOOD AND THIS WIIL CONTINUE FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE. AS A RESULT, THIS HABIT BECOME THEIR LIFE-STYLE WHICH LEADS TO OVERFAT PROBLEMS. FOR EXAMPLE, HEALTH DEPARTMENT OF THE INDIA REVEALED THAT 805 OF OVERWEIGHT CHILD PATIENTS BELONGS TO A WEALTHY FAMILY. HOWEVER, SOME RICH FAMILY AE SEEN MORE DIET CONCIOUS AND NEVER LET THEIR CHILD TO EAT UNHEALTHY FOOD. ON THE EFFECT SIDE, THE GOVERNMENT HAS A MOJOR EFFECT OF THIS TRAND. IN DETAIL, WHEN THE TODAY'S CHILDREN HAVE FITNESS PROBLEM THEN IN THE FUTURE, THEY ARE UNABLE TO DO JOB AND GOVERNMENT HAS TO PAY FOR THIER MEDICAL EXPENSES. THIS WILL CREAT A MORE FINANCIAL BURDEN ON THE AUTHORITY IN COMPARE TO TAX RETURN. HENCE, THE ECONOMY OF THE NATION WILL DECLINED. FOR INSTANCE, ECONOMICAL SURVEYED DATA OF THE USA SHOWN THAT 50% OF THE OBESE CHILD ARE DISABLE TO GO FOR WORK AND THIS HAS DECREASED THE 40% REVENUE OF THE USA. IN CONCLUSION, THE OBESITY OF THE CHILDREN INDEED AFFECTS EVERYONE ESPECIALLY AUTHORITY. IF WE GUID OUR JUVENILES IN THE CORRECT DIRECTION THAN SURELY THIS PRESENT MENACE WILL BE DECLINED TO SOME EXTENT. THIS IS THE WAY WE CAN HELP GOVERNMENT TO TACKLE THE ECONOMY PITFALLS.
IT IS
OFTEN
SAID THAT
CHILDRENS EATING
HABITS HAS
CHANGED
SINCE ONE DECADE AND
THAT IS
WHY THERE IS 20% BOOST IN THE OBESE
OFFSPRINGS
.
FIRSTLY
, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS HOW THE
AVALABILITY
OF A VARIETY OF
FAST
FOOD IS THE MAJOR REASON BEHIND THIS ISSUE AND
SECONDLY
, WHAT ARE THE DETRIMENTAL IMPACT ON THE JUVENILE'S HEALTH.

TO
START
WITH, THE MAIN REASON IS THAT
TODAY
,
CHILDRE
HAVE MORE CHOICES TO CHOOSE WHAT TO EAT WITHOUT BEING
CONCIOUS
ABOUT THE NUTRITION VALUES SUCH AS BURGERS, SANDWICHES AND
SO
ON. THIS WILL
MAKE
THEIR MOUTH WATERING AFTER SEEING OR TASTING THAT DISHES.
SOMETIMES
, THE STATUS IN THE SOCIETY OF THE FAMILY FORCE
OFFSPRINGS
TO CHOOSE SUCH FOOD SINCE THEIR CHILDHOOD AND THIS
WIIL
CONTINUE FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE.
AS A RESULT
, THIS HABIT BECOME THEIR LIFE-STYLE WHICH LEADS TO
OVERFAT
PROBLEMS.
FOR EXAMPLE
, HEALTH DEPARTMENT OF THE INDIA REVEALED THAT 805 OF OVERWEIGHT CHILD PATIENTS BELONGS TO A WEALTHY FAMILY.
HOWEVER
,
SOME
RICH FAMILY AE
SEEN
MORE DIET
CONCIOUS
AND NEVER
LET
THEIR CHILD TO EAT UNHEALTHY FOOD.

ON THE EFFECT SIDE, THE
GOVERNMENT
HAS A
MOJOR
EFFECT OF THIS
TRAND
. IN DETAIL, WHEN THE
TODAY
'S CHILDREN HAVE FITNESS PROBLEM THEN IN THE FUTURE, THEY ARE UNABLE TO DO JOB AND
GOVERNMENT
HAS TO
PAY FOR
THIER
MEDICAL EXPENSES. THIS WILL
CREAT
A MORE FINANCIAL BURDEN ON THE AUTHORITY IN COMPARE TO TAX RETURN.
HENCE
, THE ECONOMY OF THE NATION WILL
DECLINED
.
FOR INSTANCE
, ECONOMICAL SURVEYED DATA OF THE USA SHOWN THAT 50% OF THE OBESE CHILD ARE DISABLE TO GO FOR WORK AND THIS HAS DECREASED THE 40% REVENUE OF THE USA.

IN CONCLUSION
, THE OBESITY OF THE CHILDREN
INDEED
AFFECTS EVERYONE
ESPECIALLY
AUTHORITY. IF
WE GUID
OUR JUVENILES IN THE CORRECT DIRECTION THAN
SURELY
THIS PRESENT MENACE WILL
BE DECLINED
TO
SOME
EXTENT. THIS IS THE WAY WE CAN
HELP
GOVERNMENT
TO TACKLE THE ECONOMY PITFALLS.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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