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In some states in the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? v.1

In some states in the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? v. 1
A system where a child is restricted from going out when it is past certain period of the night except an adult follow them around is practiced in certain parts of the United State of America. In my opinion, because this kind of curfew has its advantages and disadvantages, it should only be implemented with caution after careful consideration is given to its merits and demerits. On the one hand, limiting children from going out all by themselves when a particular time is exceeded mainly helps to ensure they are protected from dangers. In other words, the security of teenagers is guaranteed with an adult in their midst. Basically, this is pertinent considering these grownups have better experience and are more mature to deal with with any threat and anything that portends harm. Besides, having their movement curtailed or monitored could stop them from misbehaving or prevent them from putting forward their worst behaviour. This is necessary because adolescents with their impressionable minds tend to engage in youthful exuberance whenever there is nobody watching. Thus, stopping them from involving in unlawful practice and juvenile experiments. On the other hand, there are drawbacks to having adults follow teenagers around. One leading negative in this respect is that it creates a sense of fear and unease in their minds. Considering the fact that for children to develop into well-rounded adults, they are supposed to be allowed a measure of space to express themselves, face challenging circumstances and subsequently, learn from those happenings. Therefore, the presence of adult policing them around could stifle the spirit of adventure and hamper their learning and ultimately their development. Furthermore, if the elderly goes around with teens, they could start seeing it as an infringement on their right to association. In circumstances where this is done excessively, it could result in children rebelling against their parents, since they start feeling they are being deprived of their rightful freedom. For instance, researchers have shown that children raised in the states where type of curfew is dominant have the highest rate of teenage disobedience and crime in comparison to places no bar on outing time holds. In conclusion, the imposition of the embargo on the time limit at night in which a child is not permitted to go out alone at night without having a grownup amidst them, that is observed in a number of states in the US, has its upsides and downsides that must be put into consideration before adopting it, so as to realise its set out objectives. Given the above, I believe that while it can be an advantageous thing to do in order to safeguard children from harm of any kind, it must be applied in such a way no to make them afraid and think that their rights is being encroached upon or private space, invaded.
A system where a child
is restricted
from going out when it is past certain period of the night except an adult follow them
around
is practiced
in certain parts of the United State of America. In my opinion,
because
this kind of curfew has its advantages and disadvantages, it should
only
be implemented
with caution after careful consideration is
given
to its merits and demerits.

On the one hand, limiting
children
from going out all by themselves when a particular time
is exceeded
mainly
helps
to ensure they
are protected
from
dangers
.
In other words
, the security of
teenagers
is guaranteed
with an adult in their midst.
Basically
, this is pertinent considering these grownups have better experience and are more mature to deal
with with
any threat and anything that portends harm.
Besides
, having their movement curtailed or monitored could
stop
them from misbehaving or
prevent
them from putting forward their worst
behaviour
. This is necessary
because
adolescents with their impressionable minds tend to engage in youthful exuberance whenever there is nobody watching.
Thus
, stopping them from involving in unlawful practice and juvenile experiments.

On the other hand
, there are drawbacks to having
adults
follow
teenagers
around
. One leading
negative
in this respect is that it creates a sense of fear and unease in their minds. Considering the fact that for
children
to develop into well-rounded
adults
, they
are supposed
to be
allowed
a measure of space to express themselves, face challenging circumstances and
subsequently
, learn from those happenings.
Therefore
, the presence of adult policing them
around
could stifle the spirit of adventure and hamper their learning and
ultimately
their development.
Furthermore
, if the elderly goes
around
with teens, they could
start
seeing it as an infringement on their right to association. In circumstances where this
is done
excessively
, it could result in
children
rebelling against their parents, since they
start
feeling they are
being deprived
of their rightful freedom.
For instance
, researchers have shown that
children
raised in the states where type of curfew is dominant have the highest rate of teenage disobedience and crime
in comparison
to places no bar on outing time holds.

In conclusion
, the imposition of the embargo on the time limit at night in which a child is not permitted to go out alone at night without having a grownup amidst them, that
is observed
in a number of states in the US, has its upsides and downsides that
must
be put
into consideration
before
adopting it,
so as to
realise
its set out objectives.
Given
the above, I believe that while it can be an advantageous thing to do in order to safeguard
children
from harm of any kind, it
must
be applied
in such a way no to
make
them afraid and
think
that their rights is
being encroached
upon or private space, invaded.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay In some states in the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
473 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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