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The percentage of overweight children in the western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effect of this disturbing trend. v.1

The percentage of overweight children in the western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effect of this disturbing trend. v. 1
The rate of childhood obesity in the civilized world has been elevated by close to 20% in a decade. To Start with, it is a fact that the human body requires a balanced diet: which is the most important aspect of building up the needed day to day activities of the systemic growth of each individual. However, consuming an unhealthy substances which are common among youth can cause various health problems like overweight, which is one of the leading inclination amongst others. For example, many children nowadays rely on fast food or pre-prepared meals. These foods often contain too much fat products, salt and sugar; this is because they are cheap to buy, easy to prepare and above, all readily available for consumption. In addition, many young people have grown up on this convenience and equally enjoy the constant availability of these foods. The mentioned causes have impacts on the well being of individuals. The foremost effect seen is on the cardiovascular system (the heart), giving rise to ailment like increasing and uncontrolled blood pressure, aneurysm and other related conditions, which in turn causes life threatening situations like cardiac arrest. The other repercussion is diabetes, which is managed throughout the person's existence and can lead to organ failure if there is no drug compliance as there must be need for everyday usage of medications. Thus, to conclude the topic, it can be finally commented that consuming unhealthy diets like fast food and pre-prepared meals has a bad effect on the body system. So, we should make it a duty to be conscious with what the growing child eats and home made food from natural resources will be of great help.
The rate of childhood obesity in the civilized world has
been elevated
by close to 20% in a decade.

To
Start
with, it is a fact that the human body requires a balanced diet: which is the most
important
aspect of building up the needed
day to day
activities of the systemic growth of each individual.
However
, consuming an unhealthy
substances
which are common among youth can cause various health problems like overweight, which is one of the leading inclination
amongst
others.
For example
,
many
children nowadays rely on
fast
food
or
pre-prepared
meals. These
foods
often
contain too much
fat
products, salt and sugar; this is
because
they are
cheap
to
buy
, easy to prepare and above, all
readily
available for consumption.
In addition
,
many
young
people
have grown up on this convenience and
equally
enjoy the constant availability of these foods.

The mentioned causes have impacts on the
well being
of individuals. The foremost effect
seen
is on the cardiovascular system (the heart), giving rise to ailment like increasing and uncontrolled blood pressure, aneurysm and other related conditions, which in turn causes life threatening situations like cardiac arrest.
The
other repercussion is diabetes, which
is managed
throughout the person's existence and can lead to organ failure if there is no drug compliance as there
must
be need
for everyday usage of medications.

Thus
,
to conclude
the topic, it can be
finally
commented that consuming unhealthy diets like
fast
food
and
pre-prepared
meals has a
bad
effect on the body system.
So
, we should
make
it a duty to be conscious with what the growing child eats and home made
food
from natural resources will be of great
help
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The percentage of overweight children in the western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effect of this disturbing trend. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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