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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.20

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. v. 20
Poor states are frequently given financial support by wealthy nations, but it does not fix poverty. It is argued by some people that developed world should provide aid in other ways rather than money. In my opinion, I agree with this statement because corruption and bad economic policies eat all the cash away before it reaches the needy. Poorer nations have a corrupt government system. The leaders are greedy and only care about their bank accounts instead of their people. They don’t want the needy to get settled and educate because, if that happens, they will start asking questions. For example, The US financial help to India after 2004 tsunami was spent on the prime minister's house instead of helping the victims. Hence, such crooked and dishonest officials deprive citizens of their rights. The other problem with these states is horrible policies. The money is distributed in such a way that it never reaches the deserving. It is spent on unnecessary things, such as beautification and building unnecessary monuments, or sometimes never used. To illustrate, Pakistan was not able to use its donation budget in the fiscal year 2017-2018 and was eventually had to return it back into the reserves. This often results in aid getting into the wrong hands. In conclusion, rich nations are not able to solve poverty issues in the poor ones by giving money. Many individuals argue that other ways of aid should be given instead of financial. In my opinion, I agree with this statement because the dishonest government and flawed policies deprive the deserving of their right to assistance.
Poor states are
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
financial support by wealthy nations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
poverty. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that developed world should provide aid in other ways
rather
than money. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
corruption and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
economic policies eat all the cash away
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it reaches the needy.

Poorer nations have a corrupt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
system. The leaders are greedy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
care about their bank accounts
instead
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. They don’t want the needy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
settled and educate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, if that happens, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
asking questions.
For example
, The US financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to India after 2004 tsunami
was spent
on the prime minister's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
instead
of helping the victims.
Hence
, such crooked and dishonest officials deprive citizens of their rights.

The other problem with these states is horrible policies. The money
is distributed
in such a way that it never reaches the deserving. It
is spent
on unnecessary things, such as beautification and building unnecessary monuments, or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. To illustrate, Pakistan was not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
its donation budget in the fiscal year 2017-2018 and was
eventually
had to return it back into the reserves. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
results in aid getting into the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
hands.

In conclusion
, rich nations are not able to solve poverty issues in the poor ones by giving money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals argue that other ways of aid should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
instead
of financial. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the dishonest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and flawed policies deprive the deserving of their right to assistance.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. v. 20

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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