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The percentage of overweight children children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last decade. discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. v.1

The percentage of overweight children children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last decade. discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. v. 1
The proportion of obese youngsters in the western world has surged by 20% in the last decade. Some of the reasons responsible for this are ignorance among parents and eating habits of some children. Consequently, there are some negative effects of this situation. One of the main reasons why there is a rise in the number of chubby children is the fact that some parents are oblivious of the adverse effects of excess weight-gain in children. They feel when the children are fat it reflects their affluence and makes people know that such offsprings are well taken care of. Another point is the eating habits of these young ones. Within the last decennery, there seems to have been a hike in the eating apetite of these little ones. This is due to the fact that new food products emerge frequently and they always want to have a taste of these products. For example, we have more variety of food and cookies these days than we had about a century ago, so naturally the quest for them is unavoidable. Unfortunately, the adverse effects of obesity in children can be dangerous and sometimes life-threatening. One of the side effects is the health condition known as Diabetes. A diabetic child if not properly cared for can die before the age of twenty, because he or she cannot eat normally as other children. There are medications to be taken consistently, and any inconsistency in taking the prescribed drugs can result in death. Additionally, fat children most times suffer from low self-esteem. This is because other childrenmake jest of them in places like schools. In some cases, these obese young ones keep to themselves lacking the courage to play with others and make friends. In conclusion, there is a significant rise in the oortion of little ones who look bigger than their age. Some reasons are responsible for this situation, and some of the effects include health conditions and lows self-esteem among the young ones.
The proportion of obese youngsters in the western world has surged by 20% in the last decade.
Some of the
reasons responsible for this are ignorance among parents and eating habits of
some
children
.
Consequently
, there are
some
negative
effects of this situation.

One of the main reasons why there is a rise in the number of chubby
children
is the fact that
some
parents are oblivious of the adverse effects of excess weight-gain in
children
. They feel when the
children
are
fat
it reflects their affluence and
makes
people
know that such
offsprings
are well taken care of. Another point is the eating habits of these young
ones
. Within the last
decennery
, there seems to have been a hike in the eating
apetite
of these
little
ones
.
This is due to the fact that
new food products emerge
frequently and
they always want to have a taste of these products.
For example
, we have more variety of food and cookies these days than we had about a century ago,
so
naturally
the quest for them is unavoidable.

Unfortunately, the adverse effects of obesity in
children
can be
dangerous
and
sometimes
life-threatening. One of the side effects is the health condition known as Diabetes. A diabetic child if not
properly
cared for can
die
before
the age of twenty,
because
he or she cannot eat
normally
as other
children
. There are medications to
be taken
consistently
, and any inconsistency in taking the prescribed drugs can result in death.
Additionally
,
fat
children
most times suffer from low self-esteem. This is
because
other
childrenmake
jest of them in places like schools. In
some
cases, these obese young
ones
keep
to themselves lacking the courage to play with others and
make
friends.

In conclusion
, there is a significant rise in the
oortion
of
little
ones
who look bigger than their age.
Some
reasons are responsible for this situation, and
some of the
effects include health conditions and lows self-esteem among the young
ones
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The percentage of overweight children children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last decade. discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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