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Unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or teaching sports to younger children). To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.1

Unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or teaching sports to younger children). v. 1
There have been some recommendations that community service such as working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or teaching physical activities to children should be made compulsory for high school students. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this as I believe public service is an act that should be done willingly, not compulsorily. Firstly, public service is a voluntary act. This is because people who engage in these services within a community are volunteers who have identified the needs within the society and have resolved within themselves to commit their resources, which may include time and money to solving these needs. Taking Nigeria for example, many people recently brought out themselves to fix a drainage problem observed around the city centre. They felt the health implication of the spillage from the gutters was going to impact on the wellbeing of the people living in the area. As a result, they took it upon themselves to sanitize the environment. This was not done out of compulsion but from the willingness of the people which demonstrates the importance of community service being borne out of personal desire. In addition, sporting activities for children should be included as a compulsory exercise in schools because it is an important aspect of child development, not just a voluntary act. Doing this will ensure that children incorporate physical activities as part of the lifestyle which will result to a healthier life in future. In conclusion, although social services such as neighbourhood maintenance and charity work should be done out of passion and desire to impact life rather by compulsion, sports should be made a compulsory subject for children in school to help them grow into healthier adults.
There have been
some
recommendations that community
service
such as working for a charity, improving the
neighbourhood
, or teaching physical activities to
children
should
be made
compulsory for high school students. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this as I believe public
service
is an act that should
be done
willingly
, not
compulsorily
.

Firstly
, public
service
is a voluntary act. This is
because
people
who engage in these
services
within a community are volunteers who have identified the needs within the society and have resolved within themselves to commit their resources, which may include time and money to solving these needs. Taking Nigeria
for example
,
many
people
recently brought out themselves to
fix
a drainage problem observed around the city
centre
. They felt the health implication of the spillage from the gutters was going to impact on the
wellbeing
of the
people
living in the area.
As a result
, they took it upon themselves to sanitize the environment. This was not done out of compulsion
but
from the willingness of the
people
which demonstrates the importance of community
service
being borne
out of personal desire.

In addition
, sporting activities for
children
should
be included
as a compulsory exercise in schools
because
it is an
important
aspect of child development, not
just
a voluntary act. Doing this will ensure that
children
incorporate physical activities as part of the lifestyle which will result to a healthier life
in future
.

In conclusion
, although social
services
such as
neighbourhood
maintenance and charity work should
be done
out of passion and desire to impact life
rather
by compulsion, sports should
be made
a compulsory subject for
children
in school to
help
them grow into healthier adults.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or teaching sports to younger children). v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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