Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. v. 3
It is said that the most important thing about being wealthy is that it allows people to help others. Although having a great deal of money does give the rich a chance to lend a helping hand to the less fortunate, I believe that it is not their responsibility. On the one hand, becoming wealthy can enable people to ease the burdens of those in need. This is because wealthy people are generally less concerned about their finances, and instead are more open to supporting others. A great example of this is that in almost all charitable organizations, their founders or philanthropists tend to be millionaires, or even billionaires, who are willing to donate a great deal of their fortune to assist individuals who need help. However, despite the undeniable positive social impacts created by helping people, being rich means a lot more than philanthropy. In order to become the upper-class in society, most people have to overcome countless difficulties and try very hard to gain their wealth. Therefore, when they become rich, it is reasonable that such individuals would want to enjoy their life to make up for those tiring days of hard work. For example, there are numerous things that wealthy people can do, such as travelling around the world, dining in luxurious restaurants, or even purchasing jewelry or houses. Such activities help people to be satisfied with themselves and prove that their hard work does pay off. To sum up, I would argue that the most important thing about being rich is that it enables people to enjoy more things in life. Although helping others is socially beneficial, it should be optional.
It
is said
that the most
important
thing about being
wealthy
is that it
allows
people
to
help
others. Although having a great deal of money does give the
rich
a chance to lend a helping hand to the less fortunate, I believe that it is not their responsibility.

On the one hand, becoming
wealthy
can enable
people
to
ease
the burdens of those in need. This is
because
wealthy
people
are
generally
less concerned about their finances, and
instead
are more open to supporting others. A great example of this is that in almost all charitable organizations, their founders or philanthropists tend to be millionaires, or even billionaires, who are willing to donate a great deal of their fortune to assist individuals who need
help
.

However
, despite the undeniable
positive
social impacts created by helping
people
, being
rich
means a lot more than philanthropy. In order to become the upper-
class
in society, most
people
have to
overcome countless difficulties and try
very
hard
to gain their wealth.
Therefore
, when they become
rich
, it is reasonable that such individuals would want to enjoy their life to
make
up for those tiring days of
hard
work.
For example
, there are numerous things that
wealthy
people
can do, such as travelling around the world, dining in luxurious restaurants, or even purchasing jewelry or
houses
. Such activities
help
people
to
be satisfied
with themselves and prove that their
hard
work does pay off.

To sum up, I would argue that the most
important
thing about being
rich
is that it enables
people
to enjoy more things in life. Although helping others is
socially
beneficial, it should be optional.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts