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The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. To what extent do you agree? v.10

The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. v. 10
In this modern world, many people are reckoned to think that the solution to the increasing crime rate is to educate the parents, while others disagree with this. After pondering over this issue, I deem to agree with those who think this is an essential approach. In this essay, I will share my opinion along with the relevant examples. Firstly, it is quite commonly seen that parents' strictness often leads to sneaky children, which is more dangerous as they know how to lie easily and fool people. For example, according to a recent study, the kids, who have too much strictness at home, often have more criminal tendencies. If their parents behaved, friendly with them, they would not mind sharing their weird fantasies with them and eventually getting guidance in the right direction. Secondly, the irresponsible parents are also one of the major reasons due to which these kids tend to do such illegal activities as there is usually no one to oversee them. These parents are usually stuck up in their work and busy making money. Hence, their children easily get on the wrong path with bad fellowships and leading them into a dark future. For instance, the Jessica murder case in Chandigarh was the wrongdoing of a 18 year old boy who had very rich and ignorant parents. If their parents were taught about this earlier, they would have gotten out of hand. In conclusion, Although, it is quite commonly seen that kids do these wrong doings under the bad influence, it is the responsibility of parents to take care and guide them into a bright future. Hence, I strongly agree that educating the parents about this would definitely decrease such crime rates.
In this modern world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are reckoned
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the solution to the increasing crime rate is to educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, while others disagree with this. After pondering over this issue, I deem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is an essential approach. In this essay, I will share my opinion along with the relevant examples.

Firstly
, it is quite
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that parents' strictness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to sneaky children, which is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
as they know how to lie
easily
and fool
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, according to a recent study, the kids, who have too much strictness at home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have more criminal tendencies. If their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
behaved, friendly with them, they would not mind sharing their weird fantasies with them and
eventually
getting guidance in the right direction.

Secondly
, the irresponsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
also
one of the major reasons due to which these kids tend to do such illegal activities as there is
usually
no one to oversee them. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
usually
stuck up in their work and busy making money.
Hence
, their children
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
fellowships and leading them into a dark future.
For instance
, the Jessica murder case in Chandigarh was the wrongdoing of
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
18 year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
boy who had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rich and ignorant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. If their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were taught
about this earlier, they would have gotten out of hand.

In conclusion
, Although, it is quite
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that kids do these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
doings under the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence, it is the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to take care and guide them into a bright future.
Hence
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that educating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
about this would definitely decrease such crime rates.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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