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The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. v. 5
Any act that causes harm to another individual or a group of people, is considered as crime. Crimes are done with an intention to hurt someone intentionally. Crime rates of young offenders are definitely on the rise and researchers say that there has been over 52% increase in crime by younger below the age of 18. Many opine that it is solely the outcome of bad parenting and that parents need be taught better parenting skills. But, I do not totally blame them for it. We live in a time and place where society plays a major role in moulding an individual. Societal pressures have both positive and negative impact on the younger generations as they tend to take in everything like a sponge. Today’s generation is exposed to a variety of digital devices through which they can watch or share anything according to their whims and fancies. Even today’s entertainment industry has become nonchalant in screening the content they broadcast and label them as ‘U’. Genres like horror, sci-fi etc. Now show scenes of cold blooded murder, rape and other crimes and are considered as just another snippet in the movie. News broadcasting channels are no better as they show disturbing content, including videos, pictures, controversial interviews that disturb the young minds and make them ruthless. Some detractors may opine that parents have the sole control over their children and that better parenting skills would make them better children. Parents can influence the children to a certain extend and can imbibe good value system to the youngster, but other influences like friends, bad company, society, digital media also play a vital role in creating pivotal changes to the youngster’s mindset. In conclusion, I do not agree to the idea that teaching parenting skills to parents are the only way to reduce the crime rate of young offenders. However, it can be one of the steps towards achieving the goal of creating a better thought process in our younger generation.
Any act that causes harm to another individual or a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
is considered
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crimes
are done
with an intention to hurt someone
intentionally
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
rates of young offenders are definitely on the rise and researchers say that there has been over 52% increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
by younger below the age of 18.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
opine that it is
solely
the outcome of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need
be taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I do not
totally
blame them for it.

We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a time and place where society plays a major role in
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulding' is British English.
moulding
an individual. Societal pressures have both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the younger generations as they tend to take in everything like a sponge.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s generation
is exposed
to a variety of digital devices through which they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
or share anything according to their whims and fancies. Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s entertainment industry has become nonchalant in screening the content they broadcast and label them as ‘U’. Genres like horror, sci-fi etc.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
scenes of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
cold blooded
murder, rape and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and
are considered
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
another snippet in the movie. News broadcasting channels are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
disturbing content, including videos, pictures, controversial interviews that disturb the young minds and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them ruthless.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
detractors may opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have the sole control over their children and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
can influence the children to a certain
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
and can imbibe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
value system to the youngster,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other influences like friends,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, society, digital media
also
play a vital role in creating pivotal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to the youngster’s mindset.

In conclusion
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate of young offenders.
However
, it can be one of the steps towards achieving the goal of creating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process in our younger generation.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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