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The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to havestricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extent do youagree or disagree? v.1

The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to havestricter punishment for driving offenders. v. 1
In recent years, how to improve the safety on our own road has been a hot topic for society. Some people argue that the only way is to have stricter penalties for driving offenders. Although I agree on this idea, I believe that some methods would reduce the number of traffic accidents on road. On the one hand, having stricter punishment and increasing the penalties for irresponsible drivers would improve road safety, For example, it is the fact that using a mobile phone while driving motorbike is repeat this offence. So having strict penalties such as small fines, licence suspension, driver awareness course, and even prison can act as a deterrent On the other hand, having some ways could limit a lot of traffic accidents. first of all, it is vitally important to educate people about rules before they start to drive. For example, in schools teach could teach road symbol signs through games to the student can remember easily. Secondly, the government could provide the best conditions for driver by improving and expanding better road to move safely, finally, local councils could reduce road accidents by investing in better public transport which would to me that fewer people would need to travel by car In conclusion, having stricter punishment for driving offenders is a good way but I suppose that some methods are better to improve the safety on our own road
In recent years, how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the safety on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
has been a hot topic for society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way is to have stricter penalties for driving offenders. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
methods would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of traffic accidents on road.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
stricter punishment and increasing the penalties for irresponsible drivers would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety,
For example
, it is the fact that using a mobile phone while driving motorbike is repeat this
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
strict penalties such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
fines,
Possible spelling mistake. 'licence' is British English.
licence
suspension, driver awareness course, and even prison can act as a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
deterrent


On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways could limit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
traffic accidents.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
, it is
vitally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to drive.
For example
, in schools teach could teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
symbol signs through games to the student can remember
easily
.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could provide the best conditions for driver by improving and expanding better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
safely
,
finally
, local councils could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
accidents by investing in better public transport which would to me that fewer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would need to travel by car

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
stricter punishment for driving offenders is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I suppose that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
methods are better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the safety on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to havestricter punishment for driving offenders. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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