Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The older you get, life becomes more complicated. Discuss. v.1

The older you get, life becomes more complicated. Discuss. v. 1
Ageing is a natural process happening to everyone. However, the bone of contention here is whether the life becomes easier or difficult as years pass by. In my opinion, though life seems to be challenging as we grow old, we could make it happier by making use our cognitive progression in our adult life. On the one side, most people are of opinion that year after year, our lives get complicated. According to them, during our teenage and adolescence period, we are not carried away by worries related to family, finance and responsibilities, but as we grow older, issues like fetching a job, earning, saving, looking after our parents and children become a millstone on our shoulders. Another significant reason cited for why ageing is problematic is the age-related disorders causing physical ailments like knee and joint pains, eye problems and indigestion. On the flip side, some people believe that ageing makes life more fruitful. They are inclined to a strong point that a man gets moulded at every stage of life and it is an essential improvement. Being immature and without worries doesn’t actually define happiness, they claim. Rather, every individual could use their natural boons such as intelligent quotient and emotional quotient as an aid to tactically solve the hurdles on their way. For instance, while we have a headache or fever, we might not know what to do during our younger ages but as we grow old we learn to take antibiotics or go to a physician. In the same way, every issue could be sorted out by everyone and life could be made happier. The freedom of decision making is a big difference in childhood and grownup time. When you grow older, you become the earning member and thus you have more freedom to take decisions. On the contrary, in childhood we rely on our parents earning and hence they take most of our decision and obliged us to follow their wish. To conclude, the older we become, the happier we are by exploring the world and by taking up responsibilities and this is facilitated by the maturity factor of ageing. So, we need to move on with life happily.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Ageing' is British English.
Ageing
is a natural process happening to everyone.
However
, the bone of contention here is whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
easier or difficult as years pass by. In my opinion, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
seems to be challenging as we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it happier by making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our cognitive progression in our adult life.

On the one side, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of opinion that year after year, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
complicated. According to them, during our teenage and adolescence period, we are not carried away by worries related to family, finance and responsibilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
older, issues like fetching a job, earning, saving, looking after our parents and children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a millstone on our shoulders. Another significant reason cited for why
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
is problematic is the age-related disorders causing physical ailments like knee and joint pains, eye problems and indigestion.

On the flip side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "makes'" or "make's"?
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more fruitful. They
are inclined
to a strong point that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
Possible spelling mistake found.
moulded
at every stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and it is an essential improvement. Being immature and without worries doesn’t actually define happiness, they claim.
Rather
, every individual could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their natural boons such as intelligent quotient and emotional quotient as an aid to
tactically
solve the hurdles on their way.
For instance
, while we have a headache or fever, we might not know what to do during our younger ages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
we learn to take antibiotics or go to a physician.
In the same way
, every issue could
be sorted
out by everyone and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
could
be made
happier. The freedom of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference in childhood and grownup time. When you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
older, you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the earning member and
thus
you have more freedom to take decisions.
On the contrary
, in childhood we rely on our parents earning and
hence
they take most of our decision and obliged us to follow their wish.

To conclude
, the older we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
, the happier we are by exploring the world and by taking up responsibilities and this
is facilitated
by the maturity factor of
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
happily
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The older you get, life becomes more complicated. Discuss. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
364 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts