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The number of students studying science at university is constantly declining. What do you think are the causes? What effects will this have on our society? v.3

The number of students studying science at university is constantly declining. What do you think are the causes? What effects will this have on our society? v. 3
The tendency of pupils who apply to universities in non-science fields is up trending. This situation has presented societies with challenges consequently none of which are straightforward. It seems there are two reasons associated with this occurrence and also a possible outcome for population can be anticipated, which will be elaborated in the following paragraphs. Perhaps the fundamental reason for this transition stem from the human being perception of social value which frequently has been adjusted in the past few decades. Science as a simple of modernism era was implicitly replaced by capitalism; therefore, in economic turmoil in 2008 for instance, people have noticed an accumulation of wealth is an infinite redemption. Thus, youngsters start shifting their desire from pure science to financial fields because they realized great scientists today are governed by billionaires and most of which are barely making ends meet. Besides, the second reason in doing so is grounded in competitive circumstances which currently breathtaking as much as ever before. However, it is the fact that the human being confronting unprecedented laziness affecting choosing a major in university. Turning to the possible impact on society, the indulgence sequence in this stream might break the balance in every aspect of society. Since the progress of countries is measured by an impressive accomplishment in science, being empty-handed in cutting-edge technologies are immensely damaging to the overall reputation which inevitably effects on community ranging from net income to brain drain crises. Although shifting from science to other fields might feel evaluation, the ambiguous destination is more deeply felt after a while. The longer the society hesitates on this transition, the more serious the problems become. In conclusion, it is an inevitable fact the propensity for science in university is declining. This assay discussed how human perception and rivalry situations are the main factors in doing so. This essay also depicted that this trend entirely breaks down society inside out.
The tendency of pupils who apply to universities in non-science fields is up trending. This situation has presented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
with challenges
consequently
none of which are straightforward. It seems there are two reasons associated with this occurrence and
also
a possible outcome for population can
be anticipated
, which will
be elaborated
in the following paragraphs.

Perhaps the fundamental reason for this transition stem from the human being perception of social value which
frequently
has
been adjusted
in the past few decades.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
as a simple of modernism era was
implicitly
replaced by capitalism;
therefore
, in economic turmoil in 2008
for instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have noticed an accumulation of wealth is an infinite redemption.
Thus
, youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
shifting their desire from pure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
to financial fields
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they realized great scientists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are governed
by billionaires and most of which are
barely
making ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
.
Besides
, the second reason in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
is grounded
in competitive circumstances which
currently
breathtaking as much as ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
However
, it is the fact that the human being confronting unprecedented laziness affecting choosing a major in university.

Turning to the possible impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, the indulgence sequence in this stream might break the balance in every aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Since the progress of countries
is measured
by an impressive accomplishment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, being empty-handed in cutting-edge technologies are
immensely
damaging to the
overall
reputation which
inevitably
effects on community ranging from net income to brain drain crises. Although shifting from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
to other fields might feel evaluation, the ambiguous destination is more
deeply
felt after a while. The longer the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
hesitates on this transition, the more serious the problems become.

In conclusion
, it is an inevitable fact the propensity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
in university is declining. This assay discussed how human perception and rivalry situations are the main factors in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. This essay
also
depicted that this trend
entirely
breaks down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
inside out.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay The number of students studying science at university is constantly declining. What do you think are the causes? What effects will this have on our society? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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