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sOME PEOPLE BEILEVE keeping animals as a pet is good thing for children others think it is advantageous and unhealthy which option do you agree. v.1

sOME PEOPLE BEILEVE keeping animals as a pet is good thing for children others think it is advantageous and unhealthy which option do you agree. v. 1
Pets have always proven themselves to be the best companion of human. Many people think that it can help their children to grow better while others deem it as threatening and peril for kids. this essay will shed some light on possible pros and cons of keeping animals as pets. Needless to say, children good upbringing depends upon their moral values and good health. Kids always need somebody to spend time with. But modern parents can not give ample space to their kids. So they find pets as the best options to spend time with. Living with pets can provide better health to child as the product of some animals are natural source of nourishment for example Milk from cows would be a better option as compared to packaged milk. Moreover, some pets like dogs require a daily walk which keeps a child's mind and body disease free. Additionally, living with pets teaches a kid valuable of empathy towards animals. In contrast, pets can also be fatal to children as not getting sufficient time and care can make them angry which affects kid's health. To illustrate, one can think of all the concerns needed by a pet which sometimes eats out important time of childhood. Also, if some pets do not get the proper attention they get grumpy and it is harmful for kids. Along with that, one should not forget the money spent on the pet's food, maintenance and vaccinations etc. It makes a kid an extravagant. To conclude, where a child can get better upbringing by living with pets. There it can consume momentous time of kids' childhood. I would suggest to leave kids with animals after time to time so that they can get ample values.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pets
have always proven themselves to be the best companion of human.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their children to grow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
while others deem it as threatening and peril for kids.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay will shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on possible pros and cons of keeping animals as pets.

Needless to say, children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
upbringing depends upon their moral values and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Kids
always need somebody to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
modern parents can not give ample space to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
as the best options to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with. Living with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
health to child as the product of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
animals are natural source of nourishment
for example
Milk from cows would be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
option as compared to packaged milk.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
like dogs require a daily walk which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
a child's mind and body disease free.
Additionally
, living with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
teaches a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
valuable of empathy towards animals.

In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
can
also
be fatal to children as not getting sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and care can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them angry which affects kid's health. To illustrate, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of all the concerns needed by a pet which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
eats out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of childhood.
Also
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the proper attention they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
grumpy and it is harmful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. Along with that, one should not forget the money spent on the pet's food, maintenance and vaccinations etc. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
an extravagant
.

To conclude
, where a child can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
upbringing by living with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
. There it can consume momentous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of kids' childhood. I would suggest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
with animals after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ample values.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay sOME PEOPLE BEILEVE keeping animals as a pet is good thing for children others think it is advantageous and unhealthy which option do you agree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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