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The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year on year While some people believe prisons are the best way to tackle crime others suggest that community service is successful Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.1

The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year on year While some people believe prisons are the best way to tackle crime others suggest that community service is successful 1
It is argued that gaining access into the university is tasking for both the well-to-do and the poor. This essay agrees that the wealthy and the less-privileged face challenges securing entrance into colleges. This is so because universities give admission on merit and also the number of spaces available is far less than the total number of applicants Firstly, one major criterion for university entry is academic merit. Regardless of how much money students have, their grades have to be of a minimum standard, depending on the course of choice, before being considered for a slot in the school. The college administration has no first-hand information of the financial buoyancy of the students, admissions are handed out solely based on examination results of the students. For example, in Nigeria, admission criteria for all universities are based on two examinations WAEC and JAMB and the cutoff marks vary, depending on the course of study. Medicine and accounting for instance stand at 80% and 50% respectively. Secondly, the number of available spaces in the universities is limited in comparison to the amount of students that apply. There are massive amounts of students sending out an application to colleges every year, this includes the children from affluent homes and those that are not, but unfortunately, the capacity of the schools in regards to infrastructure are not many. As a result of this, there is an equal reduction in the chances of both groups of people gaining entrance into these schools. For example, in 2019, Nigeria witnessed 66, 000 university applicants, but only 30000 students were taken which accounts for just 45% of all the applicants. In conclusion, the people that are financially buoyant face the same difficulty as those who are not in order to secure a seat in colleges and this is due to the fact that they both have to succeed academically to make the merit list and also face the challenge of inadequate availability of spaces in the schools.
It
is argued
that gaining access into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is tasking for both the well-to-do and the poor. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that the wealthy and the less-privileged face challenges securing entrance into colleges. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
give admission on merit and
also
the number of spaces available is far less than the total number of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
applicants


Firstly
, one major criterion for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
entry is academic merit. Regardless of how much money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have, their grades
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be of a minimum standard, depending on the course of choice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being considered
for a slot in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. The college administration has no
first
-hand information of the financial buoyancy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, admissions
are handed
out
solely
based on examination results of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For example
, in Nigeria, admission criteria for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are based
on two examinations WAEC and JAMB and the cutoff marks vary, depending on the course of study. Medicine and accounting
for instance
stand at 80% and 50%
respectively
.

Secondly
, the number of available spaces in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
is limited
in comparison
to the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that apply. There are massive amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
sending out an application to colleges every year, this includes the children from affluent homes and those that are not,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately, the capacity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
infrastructure are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
As a result
of this, there is an equal reduction in the chances of both groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
gaining entrance into these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
For example
, in 2019, Nigeria witnessed 66, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
applicants,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
30000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were taken
which accounts for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
45% of all the applicants.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that are
financially
buoyant face the same difficulty as those who are not in order to secure a seat in colleges and
this is due to the fact that
they both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
succeed
academically
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the merit list and
also
face the challenge of inadequate availability of spaces in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year on year While some people believe prisons are the best way to tackle crime others suggest that community service is successful 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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