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The number of older people is increasing Some people think it will cause the problem to their countries others believe this group is important to society Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.2

The number of older people is increasing Some people think it will cause the problem to their countries others believe this group is important to society 2
In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the population of aged people. While some believe that nations can have numerous issues due to this transition, however, i would agree with those who argue that this group plays an essential role in communities. One concern in terms of elevated life expectancy is that the financial burden on the Government. This is because older people tend to require constant medical attention and fall sick frequently due to the obvious age factor. That said, it is the administration who takes care of all medical services, such as the construction of hospitals and old-age care centers. As a result, a large portion of public funds spends on such causes, which could have been used in other crucial advancements. Turning to the importance of the old generation, they often act as the backbone of family and society as a whole. The reason for this that grownups have a life-long experience in the personal and social aspects, which makes them a perfect decision-maker and a great influencer. It can not be denied that they tend to impart rich cultural and ethical values to modern youngsters. For instance, In a modern hectic lifestyle, whereas parents are busy earning money, grandparents are the ones who always inculcate emotional and cultural values to their grandchildren, which is a crucial factor in forming a healthy society. In conclusion, although increasing life-expectancy can cause financial loss to the Government, i feel that senior-citizens have immense contributions towards a solid nation as they often have a positive influence on the modern generation and teach ethical values and etiquettes to them.
In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the population of aged
people
. While
some
believe that nations can have numerous issues due to this transition,
however
,
i
would
agree
with those who argue that this group plays an essential role in communities.

One concern in terms of elevated life expectancy is that the financial burden on the
Government
. This is
because
older
people
tend to require constant medical attention and fall sick
frequently
due to the obvious age factor. That said, it is the administration who takes care of all medical services, such as the construction of hospitals and
old
-age care centers.
As a result
, a large portion of public funds spends on such causes, which could have been
used
in other crucial advancements.

Turning to the importance of the
old
generation, they
often
act as the backbone of family and society as a whole. The reason for this that grownups have a life-long experience in the personal and social aspects, which
makes
them a perfect decision-maker and a great influencer. It can not
be denied
that they tend to impart rich cultural and ethical values to modern youngsters.
For instance
, In a modern hectic lifestyle, whereas parents are busy earning money, grandparents are the ones who always inculcate emotional and cultural values to their grandchildren, which is a crucial factor in forming a healthy society.

In conclusion
, although increasing life-expectancy can cause financial loss to the
Government
,
i
feel that senior-citizens have immense contributions towards a solid nation as they
often
have a
positive
influence on the modern generation and teach ethical values and
etiquettes
to them.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The number of older people is increasing Some people think it will cause the problem to their countries others believe this group is important to society 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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