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the number of countires, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. discuss both th v.2

the number of countires, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. 2
Improving accommodation such as rail way stations is necessary for a some countries and government should spend the bigger currency for it. However, some people assume that it is better to increase the quantity of public transportations. I believe that all of actions need to be thought for the goodness of all sides by the administration both for the state and its own community. Generally speaking, existing more and more public transportation such as but it is not really involved by the predominantly population in this advance era. Nowadays, more society have their own vehicles to use and it is more effective because they do not need to think about waiting a taxi to go to their office. In addition, producing more transportation for the publics will be more increasing the air pollution that can bring disadvantages not only for the state but also the health of populations itself so that the administers should measure it out more. On the one side, most of people assume that the government should spend much money in constructing the up-to-date railway lines for rapid trains among regions in high population. It can reduce the traffic jam in urban city caused by the other transportations. For example, the traffic jam in Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia, have driven being worse so that the ministry create the remarkable ide to build MRT -one of the fast railway system for train using electrical power. Thus, most of people are satisfied due to accommodation. Moreover, it can avoid the hazardous of air pollution caused by huge transportations such a bus. To summary, a trebling in total of transportation using fuel is the detrimental though due to its disadvantages. By contrast, improving the railway lines for train is the noteworthy ide even though it has to spend much currency of the state.
Improving accommodation such as rail way stations is necessary for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend the bigger currency for it.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assume that it is better to increase the quantity of public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
. I believe that
Consider using "all actions" or "all of the actions".
all of actions
need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
for the goodness of all sides by the administration both for the state and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
community.

Generally
speaking, existing more and more public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not
really
involved by the
predominantly
population in this advance era. Nowadays, more society have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and it is more effective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about waiting a taxi to go to their office.
In addition
, producing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
publics will
be more increasing the air pollution that can bring disadvantages not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the state
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the health of populations itself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the administers should measure it out more.

On the one side, most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assume that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend much money in constructing the up-to-date railway lines for rapid trains among regions in high population. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the traffic jam in urban city caused by the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
.
For example
, the traffic jam in Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia, have driven being worse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the ministry create the remarkable
Possible spelling mistake found.
ide
to build MRT -one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
railway system for train using electrical power.
Thus
, most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are satisfied
due to accommodation.
Moreover
, it can avoid
The phrase 'the hazardous of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the hazardous of
air pollution caused by huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
such a bus.

To summary, a trebling in total of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
using fuel is the detrimental though due to its disadvantages. By contrast, improving the railway lines for train is the noteworthy
Possible spelling mistake found.
ide
even though
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
spend much currency of the state.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay the number of countires, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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